It sits under my IF thought

IT FOUND AN ORIFICE AND SQUEEZED ITS WAY INTO MY BODY
IT SLIT ITS OWN WRISTS TO UNLEASH ITS BLACK POISON INTO THE FLOW OF MY BLOOD
IT MADE A VISIT INTO MY EYES AND PLAYED A SHOW THAT RECEIVED NO APPLAUSE
IT FLEW INTO THE PIT OF MY STOMACH AND DANCED AROUND MY PEACEFUL BUTTERFLIES UNTIL THEY BECAME ANGERED
IT CLIMBED ITS WAY UP MY THROAT INTO MY EARS TO MAKE ME BELIEVE I HEARD IT ALL
IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH IT WALKED ALONG THE DIPS ON MY BRAIN AND FILLED EACH ONE THAT HAD AN IF WITH UGLY THOUGHTS; WITH UGLY NIGHTMARES; WITH HORRIBLE SENSES THAT MADE ME FEEL ILL
IT FOUND ITSELF SWINGING AROUND MY HEART AND INTO A CAVE
IT MADE A HOME WITH IF AND HELPS IT PUSH ME AWAY FROM MYSELF
ITS CREATING A SCAR THAT EVENTUALLY WILL HEAL
BUT SCARS STICK AROUND TO REMIND YOU OF THE DAMAGE IT HAS CAUSED.

Think before you Speak!

In the last two weeks or three weeks I have run into a situation that has forced me to question shit. I mean, if I have to go over it in my mind more than a few times I worry. I worry all the time about all kinds of shit. But it really fucking bothers me when I'm reading something, listening to someone and they write or say something that triggers that WTF feeling inside...It's no good for me. I may not tell you right away. I may just let that shit soak and evaporate and never bring it up. But damn that if I will do it with the shit that has gone down these last three weeks!

I made it final that I, myself make my mind up for myself. I will think before I speak, because some of you are in the moment, and caught up in excitement or sadness and say the craziest shit that you don't even realize what it could do to the other person! You just keep fucking rambling on and on about your shit, with no fucking care or thought. Amazes me!

Damn, writing more and more about this just really sets me off! And you know what else gets me going? A FRONT! A fucking front that gets put on because your fucking sad or you're just having a good old fucking time! For me, it only takes me three times to question it before I explode on your ass. And when I say that, I mean tell you the fuck off. Tell you how low and disrespectful you are. Words have power. Don't be a fucking idiot because of where you currently are, who you are around and what you think you shouldn't say.

I don't accept apologies very well, never have and never will. You did it, you did it. Vise versa. I don't expect anyone to accept my apology right off the back.

There are only two things in life that matter, and those are my two kids. Everything else is an exception. I've made that choice to have you in my life, you fuck it up or allow me to question it then you're out. That's it. Second chances are good to give, only and if you deserve them!

I can go on and on about the shit that is built up, but then you would be reading for hours.

I'm done here!

A Love Letter in March

Fall and Winter have passed as we catch ourselves waking up to Spring. We bloom into a mold that no one could ever break, a mold so tough only our weepy hearts could melt it to tears. We've grown into this thing that has the greatest vibe, the greatest thoughts that are only great when we are together. A melody that was written from two different lives that syncs slowly, sleeping into one another every time we meet.

Being with you is never a dull moment. Never an empty glass of nothing. There is always something there, even when it was placed by fate. By which that has carried us to where we are now. I seem to lose myself when we spend time together. I become sleepy for you. When your arms are around me and my eyes are tightly closed; everything else feels so small. That's how big you make me feel.

This love can be everlasting even when time doesn't allow. Time has paused because it has come to know we anxiously wait to see one another. It knows our bodies ache when we are apart. Slowly we reach the end of that pause and time begins to fly, it goes until that Sunday morning. The last day for us to rest on, a day for us to praise each other and remind ourselves what we never thought would happen. Each other. I always take our last few moments to allow your eyes to steal me away. To let your eyes settle in my soul and warm me up until the cold drift has left my body.

You've become more than just everything to me, your a part of me that I need in order to see. In order to speak or hear. You're the best part of me. Without you, I'm an empty glass.