You go one direction and the other goes another

Its a different week, with new plans or no plans. Either way, you're doing something without the other. All these great things to do, but without your partner. Its a little sad and it can really catch up to a person when you look back and realize you were there alone. You're in a relationship with no relation. How does that happen? How do you wake up and feel? Maybe normal because no one really puts any though into it. Well, unless your analytical.

Sometimes you sit and wonder what its all for if you can't share the same memories, you can't share the inside jokes and or the conversations that took place. Some people just do it. They live that way and their fine with it.

You go one direction and the other goes another. Then you come home and go to bed. Its not exciting. Its not boring looking from the inside out out. But looking from the outside in, it can be concerning. Nights in bed are, just another night in bed. It doesn't sound like that place you made up in your mind a few months back when you thought it was your get a way destination, your fort for relaxing, a sea of pillows. No, its just a bed now. With pillows and a small calling that says 'come to bed'.

Your drive home is now like every other person on the road. You once used to be that person that would rush home to get on the road to spend quality time. To see the look on their face when they saw you. Now, you park, you go home, and eat dinner. The exception is gone. The rule has taken over.

Yet you try so hard and you keep trying. But no one can read your mind, so you try actions. Then your actions are shot down, then you try words. Then those words begin to lose their meaning. So then you become silent. A robot. You're programmed to love according to the rule. Because the exception is gone. And to have the least, you follow the rules.

The days of day dreaming are gone and silly conversations are dull. A spontaneous agenda has grown wings and has flown south for the winter. Moments are no longer moments, their pieces of the day that just broke off.

Does satisfactory count? Who knows, and why does it matter now. It's all established and you just keep moving along. At this point you begin to question your self and the support you give. Is there any support given? You tried. You tried many times. But it's okay, sometimes that support is meaningless and whatever needs to replace that can't be found, so you stop searching. Because you looked under the couch, in the closet and in yourself. It's missing, and maybe you're not meant to find it. Maybe someone with that same support system has it but they have not been discovered.

They haven't been discovered because all you know how to do now is live with the rule instead of the exception. And those rules sometimes can't help you move on. There is no motivation, no passion. Just a lack of service.

Those late dinners you remember being so fun, are just now a hassle. A decision that really isn't thought out anymore. It's just another item on the list. All the wonderful moments that used to be are just broken pieces living with a bad strip of tape holding them together.

Suddenly its a new week and you're back on the same path. You go one direction and the other goes another.