No matter all the advice that I get, or the conversations I have. Or the replays that occur, at the end of the day it hurts. Its going to hurt for a long time. And it's always going to hurt until it goes away.
Its painful when I wake up and it still hurts when I go to bed. It hurts when I see a photo of us and it makes me sad when I remember when and why we took it.
I feel like everything around me is okay and will be doing better as the days pass me. But there is this small bubble inside of me filled with all the love I still have for him and all of the memories. When it gets poked or rubbed the wrong way, it starts to leak. Then I'm reminded and so I get really sad. Now its no more than 10 or a few more minutes at a time.
I want to get off this ride.
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