Misery loves company

We've all heard the saying, "you may be the sweetest peach, but not everyone likes peaches,". I've heard a few people say this to me and every time I've heard it, it's sounds differently. I totally get the saying but the situation I was in at those times, made absolutely no sense on why a person would say that. There are mean girls, there are racists girls. I've finally accepted that in my life. I understand that some girls need to have that bit of drama I'm their life in order to feel like they are alive. I understand that other girls will judge you one day and ask to have coffee with you the next. My problem is that I am too forgiving, too trusting of others. I'm Christian, my job is to forgive and move forward. My job is to spread the word of our good Lord. But recently, rascim set in to a person I least expected it from, and it came with a bit of shock. 

We know that money is the root of all evil. I think social media has taken over that place and has become such a toxic wasteland for those who love to sunbathe in others misery. I just found out that a remake of Left Behind is being filmed, starring Nicholas Cage. I was pretty excited about that since there aren't too many Christian like movies out these days. So when I saw this on my friends Facebook page, I did what any passionate person would do; share it on my wall for others to see. However, my innocent post offended someone close to me and assumed that the post was about her. I do have the right to my opinion, my beliefs, my passion. As does everyone else, with their own opinions, beliefs and passions. It's not my job to judge. But my post what general. To everyone who wanted to read it. If you don't like what I say, unfriend me. I wouldn't be offended by it. 

However, this person decided to "get me back" by posting something ill and disgusting about me to the world and tagged all of the people we know, except for me. The person she was making the post about. Someone close to me, who has been in our home to celebrate birthdays and holidays. I didn't get a chance to see this post, however everyone else did. Including my brother. Of all the people to tag, my brother? It just has me wonder now, was she serious? Did she realize what she was doing? I'm not so sure what was going through her mind, but I knew what was going through mine. I take no joy in attempting to crush others beliefs. So apparently because I like to post about God and what I believe, that made me a whore. I'm not sure where those two fit next to each other. But she did and didn't hold back on how she felt. Her self confidence must be at a low level, I assume, for her to think that my post on Facebook along with the other 200 people on there, thought it was singling her out. My life is much too busy to play on Facebook and talk about her. 

I decided to forgive her. To acknowledge that my heart hurts and that I am saddened by her action. But I do forgive her. It's not my job to judge. I'm not her mother, no one is scolding her. God will judge her. My mother has always said that you can tell a lot about someone by their actions. Of course judgement tried to set in but I overcame it because it would bring me down to the same level she is. Everyone goes through struggles and some have more demons to fight off than others. All I can do is pray for her well being and hope one day she will be at peace and not want to say hurtful things. 

No ones life is perfect, but we have the choice to be happy or sad. Some chose misery because they receive comfort from others and feel that is going to be the only way to socialize. Some chose happiness because it lifts them, it makes others around them feel the same way. The happier you are the less circle of friends you have. It's not sad, it's joyful. It's better to relieve those who are toxic and just enjoy the friends and family who chose happiness. I always tell myself during hard times, if I want a better life I can make it happen. My husband and I both support each other and when one is wrong, we help each other understand why, not judge or criticize each other. It takes a team. Same with friends, support one another, because whatever you give into this world is what you get back. As most people call it, karma. 

I am stronger than what it may look like. I've been through more things in my life than one should before they are 30. I understand that people make mistakes, and I remember that sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me. Well, this time these words hurt. They dug deep, but I have thick skin and in due time, all will be right and my mind can be at ease. I tell my kids everyday to make good choices, what kind of parent or person would I be by breaking that example, not a very good one. 

Food for thought - 

I WILL NOT CAUSE PAIN WITHOUT ALLOWING SOMETHING NEW TO BE BORN. SAYS THE LORD. 

ISAIAH 66:9 

Technically Speaking...

For the first time in my life, someone accused me of being fake. I wasn’t sure how to react, since this person is someone who was commenting on the same status update from someone I know (you know, those heated FB conversations). Technically, a person who is on my FB that I have met once but know his life through social media. Well if anyone ever called me that, it was never to my knowledge.

But I just wanted to remind you people how fake I am. I think this person knows me way to well and I have to say they were right on point! Shall we begin? Lets!

I’m fake because I’m not really 28. I’m really 28 years, 11 months and 3 weeks old.

I should be ashamed of myself.

I’m fake because I wasn’t born with ombre hair. I was born with brown hair. I don’t know what to say.

I’m fake because I told someone they deserved to be happy. This one is definitely going way too far. I will watch my words next time, mommy.

I’m fake because I commented on a status to show some support. I think I should be spanked for this, yup.

I’m fake because I have no great come backs. Just silly words like, ‘you have ugly bangs’ and ‘you’re annoying’. LOL super disappointed.

I’m fake because I don’t know how to get violent on FB.

I’m fake because I don’t hang out with every single one of my FB friends. I know…

I’m fake because I have a full time job, 2 kids in school, a fiancé and my parents and brother. I should know better!

I’m fake because I can’t make time to see my own friends plus the ones on FB that have no idea of my private life. But apparently we should be friends and bowl and shit.

I’m fake because I have a best friend. What nerve do I have to have a best friend! Sheesh.

I’m fake because I love God. I love him so much that I sometimes put his name on FB. What world are we living in! I know! I should be banned from Earth for saying God.

Oh, I almost forgot. I am SO FAKE, because I wasn’t there to physically be there for someone when they were having a rough time. I mean, that is how all this fake-ness started.

It definitly goes to show how shallow people are. This was my first Fb fist fight, I definitly lost because I had nothing else to say to ugly bangs, but oh well. I like to chose my batttles. Like fighting for chocolate cupcakes over vanilla.

Thank you for reading everyone! I am so glad you all know how fake I am!

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall....

I've been told that I moved to fast into relationships. Or that the men I've gotten serious with have falling in love with me too quickly. Also that I move in too fast with my boyfriends.

I love to get feedback from the people that are close to me and those who aren't because their opinions really do matter to me. But all the while, this makes me really think of what do they know that I don't?

I was married very quickly after my engagement and I agree with this. We moved in together after only 3 months. A mistake I made in which I learned from. At the end of the marriage he truly was not the guy for me regardless of how quickly things moved along. The next man, I waited a year and still I was told by all my friends that I moved to quickly. What is too quickly these days?! Should I wait 5 years, then maybe think about my feelings for this person? I mean why should there be a time stamp on this?

It frustrates me to hear people tell me I move to quickly when all the moves I've taken have been risks. Big ones. One's that I am glad happened because I've learned more about men and relationships at such a young age where 30 year old women are starting to understand all the things I've already experienced. I was married at 22. I've been a mother since 17. I've had 4 serious relationships and lived together in each of those. And I'm going to be 27 this year. I think people should reorder their comments/advise the next time they want to tell me I'm moving to fast. I think I grew up faster than my friends did. So really, they can't understand the decisions I make. They can only relate to an extent.

I've learned so much about myself and the things that I know I want in a man and the things I don't. I've learned about the things men need from a women and the things that they don't. Everyone comes to me for advise on their relationships even though I've been considered of moving too fast. I believe there is an order that should be followed, but never a time stamp.

If you like someone, and you're dating; meaning going out to public places together; should you wait 6 months before telling that person you really like him/her or is it natural for you to just say it when you feel it? If you felt that you love someone and there's been enough time that's passed that you won't scare that person away by saying it, do you just say it? Or do you wait a year because you don't want people telling you you're moving too fast? If you've been together a year and your strongest emotion you feel together is love, should you wait another 2 years before moving in together? Is moving in together after a year moving too fast? So you see how silly these time stamps are? I would enjoy meeting a couple that bases their emotions from a time line; 5 months together, say I love you; 1 year together,discuss moving in; 2 years, move in together; 3 years, hope to be engaged; 4 years be married; 1 year into marriage, schedule our sex; 2 years into marriage, get pregnant.....

I understand people have a plan. I have friends who are happy with their scheduled sex on Tuesday's and Friday's. But to label someone's love life as moving to fast is ridiculous. Every situation is different. But without the risk of taking any of it, you'll live in fear. You'll live in a box that becomes your safety zone, and maybe when you're 45 years old; you might decide to take a risk and meet someone. Then you know what will happen? You'll wonder why you didn't try it before.

It's like frozen yogurt. The majority of America eat ice cream. Ice cream is yummy and makes me fat but I can't stop eating it. It doesn't get me any where by always eating it....NOM NOM FREAKIN NOM! But then someone tells you about frozen yogurt and it makes your little brain ponder. You tell yourself you only know a few people that eat it but you're good with ice cream. Then you try that frozen yogurt and you realize that it is really good. Then you one day stop eating ice cream and stick to that frozen yogurt. Why haven't I been eating this all along? Because you're a dumb ass, that's why. No really.

If your friend asks you if they are moving too fast, give your honest advise. Otherwise you'll just be judging them. Friends shouldn't judge each other; they should just hold their index finger out with the straight up truth. Friends are each other's mirrors. They are there to help see the risks that are being taken, not to take the risks away from you. Then when a friend comes crying saying you were right, learn to comfort that person.

If you are MY friend, you should feel lucky. Because I will never lie to you. I would also tell you if your make-up looks bad even if it hurts your feelings. Because I am a real friend. You want to know if you look like shit today? You probably do if you're asking me; a true friend.

And I'm ending this with an LOL because I love myself.