How does one person learn not to expect everything when everything is to be expected? How do you learn not to misunderstand what you are trying to say versus what you want to say?
I can't seem to get it right. Maybe that is why it ends up in disaster. Maybe that is why I can't lower my expectations and can't forgive myself for living above the average thought.
So if it makes me happy then why the hell am I so sad? Maybe satisfaction is now something that is just okay. It doesn't feel like that overwhelming feeling, it's just "something". Satisfaction has left and I need to find something else that once gave me that overwhelming feeling. I don't know where to start looking or if the search is worth that something...
I won't chase it. Time can bring it to me. For that, I can grow patience.
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