Valeria Linegar has check in at I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHERE YOU ARE EVERY HOUR

*This entire post is meant to be read in Billy Mays' voice*

Hello readers and thank you for tuning in on this B.S. post today about checking in on FB/Twitter.

Have you felt that no one cares about you lately? Are you drinking something? Going to happy hour? Do you have a cold? WELL! I have something for you that will keep everyone in the loop about your life. Check in! That's right, Bobby; you can now check in on Facebook and Twitter!

Tell everyone that you are leaving your house to meet up with two friends! That's right! Not just by yourself, but you can tag two friends! You can tell everyone where you are at all times. You can tell everyone that you are at the airport with five thousand other people. Wow, that is great. You can also tell people you are at your moms house eating the beans and rice she made you! YUM! We are all jealous.

Got a cold? Check in! Tell everyone you are at urgent care. You most likely will up your comment count by doing this one. FANTASTIC! Feel better!

Grocery shopping? Check that baby in! Maybe other grocery shopping friends in that area can join you in the boring search for food!

Just got home? Check in! Tell everyone you are about to go to bed! Man, why wouldn't anyone want to know this? Puzzles me Bobby, I would love to tell everyone I am home and going to bed.

Hot date? Heat things up by, checking in!! Keep your friends updated on the cafes and bars you check into while you're on your date. Pointless? I know!

Another great one, vacation check ins! Yeah! Tell your three hundred friends you won't be home for a week incase anyone wanted to rob your house. Maybe a friend really liked that flat screen last time they were over and you refused to sell it to them. Man, what a deal!

But wait! There's more!

Check in everyday and annoy all your friends! So that next time you see your friends, there isn't anything to talk about because they've seen all your check ins. Got to love those dry conversations!

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Life As She Knows It

No one had yet to find the greatness through her heart,
some have only seen what she has through moments,
through words from her mouth.
She has yet become a muse for someones heart,
for love,
for comfort.
No one has truly searched for her love,
for her tears of joy,
but have only seen the love she has to give.
Chances have passed to swim in her laughter,
to feel the life through her eyes.
She's not in plain sight,
but in a crowd that's worth the search,
that's worth steps to take to become closer.
As chances before became numb,
became distant,
those chances aged and crumbled.
For then she knew she may never become a muse,
a lover.
For no one searched deep enough in the crowd,
She faded and became shaped into society,
losing her color,
losing her aura.
Some have only known the grays of her life,
as others don't like to paint with black and white.
She's sewn her heart in her hands,
with no needle to undo,
she takes in the pain that chases her.
As someday the sun will shine,
the rays will sway her color so much,
that it will catch an eye,
an eye of a one in search of a muse.