I'm learning, at the age of 27, that men really are from Mars. I've learned a few things that raise questions, that make my nose crinkle. As much as men are from Mars, I still have good reason to do and say the things I do.
I'm tempted to go to an old peoples home and question the little old men about the true reasons men spark a circuit when it comes to relationships. But that would require conversation and the only person I want to have a conversation with isn't around.
During a break, that the man chose to take, he tells you to take care of yourself; he tells you live your life like normal...
This doesn't sit too well with me. Why? Well, after years of very serious relationships and lots of doubt about men I know I found a man who gives me something I never had before and I feel incredible when I'm with him.
But did you read what I said? We are on a break. Is this an incredible man? Absolutely. I must stay away from this wonderful man. I cannot text him 'i love you' whenever I want. Most definitely no naughty action. You can only imagine. Can you say nails on a chalkboard? Yes. I can say and did say that.
My body is deprived. As he says to be happy on my own because we have to be happy with ourselves before we can make others happy. Well....I'm happy. I'm allowed to have emotions towards this. Even when I cry, I'm happy still. Men forget we are women. An emotional species. Specially me. Throw sticks and stones, I'm crying so hard the boogers are running so fast they're getting into my mouth. Yeah, I know.
That is gross.
A big part of my happiness was him. I really like the person I am when I'm with him. Cloud 9 does exist people. I'm IN love. What does that mean? That means everything I see in the future includes him. No doubt. Not the band, the emotion. Oh, good you got that.
I refuse to not think of him. Its impossible. What's he doing? Maybe we ate the same thing today. Did he visit Dunkin Donuts (I was not paid to say this)? Are all the notes in his house that I left still there? This isn't half of what my mind goes through. I feel sorry for it. It just thinks about him all day. I mean some of us have lives to live and my mind is just fucking moping and won't snap out of it. I'm forced to drink a large icee from Target, Raspberry Blueberry flavor, to give it a brain freeze. Sheesh!
You know, well maybe you don't, but I also lost my appetite. Just flew out the window. And TRUST me, I can put down some food. I'm a chub in disguise. Its been 6 looooooooong days since I've seen him. Food isn't bringing him home any time soon. I should just hook an IV to my body with liquid food and carry it around. Other women will understand this.
The thing that men do not understand, is that we want our men around. We get sad when you don't want to see us. You say what? Memories? Yeah, there are a ton of those, which makes this not easy at all. And I am sure you men don't get as dramatic as we do, well out loud that is, but I do know you think about us. I still don't know what the hell that means but okay!
I'm happy with or without you. I'm the happiest when I am with you. Jumping for joy and shit. Boys do that to us.
We jump in our closets when you're not looking...
We smile like a 5 year old after he's ate ice cream and has a chocolate ring around his mouth. We do this when you grab our hand.
We get butterflies every single time we meet up.
We wake up in the middle of the night to watch you sleep with your mouth open and drool busting out. We give you kisses on the forehead.
We are girls. We're mushy, romantic, know what we have when we have it.
So I'll wait as long as I can. All things must come to an end eventually. At this point the only this I want to end is this break. BAM!
Men will always be from Mars, and Women will be from Venus, well when we choose too. Haha (its my blog I can say anything I want)!
Let's huddle, break and move to the next play. I MISS YOU!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Longest Siesta of my Life!
After three long days, I finally stopped crying. I also lost four pounds. Finally fit into that mini vest, no problem! Hooray!
The first night I went to the bar and really played a roll. The drunk girl who became entertaining to all around. Then went home, looked around and decided the only thing that would put me to sleep was John Mayer, but instead he made me cry then I fell asleep.
The second night, I watched a movie I shouldn't of then drank a bottle of wine....alone. I had no problem sleeping. Dinner last night was four small brownies. Well I ate them at lunch time and stayed full the whole day LOL.
The third night, I finally hear we are on a break. Now I am just in denial. Not really, just a little sad.
I'm standing back in the rain.
The first night I went to the bar and really played a roll. The drunk girl who became entertaining to all around. Then went home, looked around and decided the only thing that would put me to sleep was John Mayer, but instead he made me cry then I fell asleep.
The second night, I watched a movie I shouldn't of then drank a bottle of wine....alone. I had no problem sleeping. Dinner last night was four small brownies. Well I ate them at lunch time and stayed full the whole day LOL.
The third night, I finally hear we are on a break. Now I am just in denial. Not really, just a little sad.
I'm standing back in the rain.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
"Journeys end in lovers meeting."
People who find out they really never loved each other, or know the're love isn't the kind to last, stay together for years. And those who are madly, crazy in love only share a short time together; and then they spend more time trying to move on and convincing themselves it would have never worked.
In one of my favorite movies, someone says, "I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other."
And when I heard this, I immediately thought I know someday I will have the kind of person who wants to love me as much as I want to love them.
I found this person. I truly did. I know I will feel this way about him no matter what.
In one of my favorite movies, someone says, "I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other."
And when I heard this, I immediately thought I know someday I will have the kind of person who wants to love me as much as I want to love them.
I found this person. I truly did. I know I will feel this way about him no matter what.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Love Turns Wise Women Into Fools
Your eyes are the color of her coffee in the morning,
who needs a cup when she can just stare at you and get the same result?
Your hands are like her covers at night,
so she threw her's away.
Your laugh is enough to make her laugh,
so she stopped tripping people.
Your words are so fulfilling to her,
She doesn't need to read books anymore.
Your kiss is so exhilarating,
She said goodbye to fantasising,
Your hugs make her feel like she's melting into a down comforter,
I guess you know where she'll be sleeping.
Your knowledge is so powerful,
now she believe's in magic.
Your lips are a natural lip balm,
Chapstick won't be making money off her anymore.
You're so beautiful its amazing,
she'd prefer to watch you rise than the sun.
Sleeping next to you is like watching art,
she thinks you're the best still art she's ever seen.
After she met you, she read a quote that changed her way of thinking: "I've looked around enough to know that you're the one I want to go through time with you."
who needs a cup when she can just stare at you and get the same result?
Your hands are like her covers at night,
so she threw her's away.
Your laugh is enough to make her laugh,
so she stopped tripping people.
Your words are so fulfilling to her,
She doesn't need to read books anymore.
Your kiss is so exhilarating,
She said goodbye to fantasising,
Your hugs make her feel like she's melting into a down comforter,
I guess you know where she'll be sleeping.
Your knowledge is so powerful,
now she believe's in magic.
Your lips are a natural lip balm,
Chapstick won't be making money off her anymore.
You're so beautiful its amazing,
she'd prefer to watch you rise than the sun.
Sleeping next to you is like watching art,
she thinks you're the best still art she's ever seen.
After she met you, she read a quote that changed her way of thinking: "I've looked around enough to know that you're the one I want to go through time with you."
Monday, July 25, 2011
Valeria Linegar has check in at I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHERE YOU ARE EVERY HOUR
*This entire post is meant to be read in Billy Mays' voice*
Hello readers and thank you for tuning in on this B.S. post today about checking in on FB/Twitter.
Have you felt that no one cares about you lately? Are you drinking something? Going to happy hour? Do you have a cold? WELL! I have something for you that will keep everyone in the loop about your life. Check in! That's right, Bobby; you can now check in on Facebook and Twitter!
Tell everyone that you are leaving your house to meet up with two friends! That's right! Not just by yourself, but you can tag two friends! You can tell everyone where you are at all times. You can tell everyone that you are at the airport with five thousand other people. Wow, that is great. You can also tell people you are at your moms house eating the beans and rice she made you! YUM! We are all jealous.
Got a cold? Check in! Tell everyone you are at urgent care. You most likely will up your comment count by doing this one. FANTASTIC! Feel better!
Grocery shopping? Check that baby in! Maybe other grocery shopping friends in that area can join you in the boring search for food!
Just got home? Check in! Tell everyone you are about to go to bed! Man, why wouldn't anyone want to know this? Puzzles me Bobby, I would love to tell everyone I am home and going to bed.
Hot date? Heat things up by, checking in!! Keep your friends updated on the cafes and bars you check into while you're on your date. Pointless? I know!
Another great one, vacation check ins! Yeah! Tell your three hundred friends you won't be home for a week incase anyone wanted to rob your house. Maybe a friend really liked that flat screen last time they were over and you refused to sell it to them. Man, what a deal!
But wait! There's more!
Check in everyday and annoy all your friends! So that next time you see your friends, there isn't anything to talk about because they've seen all your check ins. Got to love those dry conversations!
Hello readers and thank you for tuning in on this B.S. post today about checking in on FB/Twitter.
Have you felt that no one cares about you lately? Are you drinking something? Going to happy hour? Do you have a cold? WELL! I have something for you that will keep everyone in the loop about your life. Check in! That's right, Bobby; you can now check in on Facebook and Twitter!
Tell everyone that you are leaving your house to meet up with two friends! That's right! Not just by yourself, but you can tag two friends! You can tell everyone where you are at all times. You can tell everyone that you are at the airport with five thousand other people. Wow, that is great. You can also tell people you are at your moms house eating the beans and rice she made you! YUM! We are all jealous.
Got a cold? Check in! Tell everyone you are at urgent care. You most likely will up your comment count by doing this one. FANTASTIC! Feel better!
Grocery shopping? Check that baby in! Maybe other grocery shopping friends in that area can join you in the boring search for food!
Just got home? Check in! Tell everyone you are about to go to bed! Man, why wouldn't anyone want to know this? Puzzles me Bobby, I would love to tell everyone I am home and going to bed.
Hot date? Heat things up by, checking in!! Keep your friends updated on the cafes and bars you check into while you're on your date. Pointless? I know!
Another great one, vacation check ins! Yeah! Tell your three hundred friends you won't be home for a week incase anyone wanted to rob your house. Maybe a friend really liked that flat screen last time they were over and you refused to sell it to them. Man, what a deal!
But wait! There's more!
Check in everyday and annoy all your friends! So that next time you see your friends, there isn't anything to talk about because they've seen all your check ins. Got to love those dry conversations!
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Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Life As She Knows It
No one had yet to find the greatness through her heart,
some have only seen what she has through moments,
through words from her mouth.
She has yet become a muse for someones heart,
for love,
for comfort.
No one has truly searched for her love,
for her tears of joy,
but have only seen the love she has to give.
Chances have passed to swim in her laughter,
to feel the life through her eyes.
She's not in plain sight,
but in a crowd that's worth the search,
that's worth steps to take to become closer.
As chances before became numb,
became distant,
those chances aged and crumbled.
For then she knew she may never become a muse,
a lover.
For no one searched deep enough in the crowd,
She faded and became shaped into society,
losing her color,
losing her aura.
Some have only known the grays of her life,
as others don't like to paint with black and white.
She's sewn her heart in her hands,
with no needle to undo,
she takes in the pain that chases her.
As someday the sun will shine,
the rays will sway her color so much,
that it will catch an eye,
an eye of a one in search of a muse.
some have only seen what she has through moments,
through words from her mouth.
She has yet become a muse for someones heart,
for love,
for comfort.
No one has truly searched for her love,
for her tears of joy,
but have only seen the love she has to give.
Chances have passed to swim in her laughter,
to feel the life through her eyes.
She's not in plain sight,
but in a crowd that's worth the search,
that's worth steps to take to become closer.
As chances before became numb,
became distant,
those chances aged and crumbled.
For then she knew she may never become a muse,
a lover.
For no one searched deep enough in the crowd,
She faded and became shaped into society,
losing her color,
losing her aura.
Some have only known the grays of her life,
as others don't like to paint with black and white.
She's sewn her heart in her hands,
with no needle to undo,
she takes in the pain that chases her.
As someday the sun will shine,
the rays will sway her color so much,
that it will catch an eye,
an eye of a one in search of a muse.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall....
I've been told that I moved to fast into relationships. Or that the men I've gotten serious with have falling in love with me too quickly. Also that I move in too fast with my boyfriends.
I love to get feedback from the people that are close to me and those who aren't because their opinions really do matter to me. But all the while, this makes me really think of what do they know that I don't?
I was married very quickly after my engagement and I agree with this. We moved in together after only 3 months. A mistake I made in which I learned from. At the end of the marriage he truly was not the guy for me regardless of how quickly things moved along. The next man, I waited a year and still I was told by all my friends that I moved to quickly. What is too quickly these days?! Should I wait 5 years, then maybe think about my feelings for this person? I mean why should there be a time stamp on this?
It frustrates me to hear people tell me I move to quickly when all the moves I've taken have been risks. Big ones. One's that I am glad happened because I've learned more about men and relationships at such a young age where 30 year old women are starting to understand all the things I've already experienced. I was married at 22. I've been a mother since 17. I've had 4 serious relationships and lived together in each of those. And I'm going to be 27 this year. I think people should reorder their comments/advise the next time they want to tell me I'm moving to fast. I think I grew up faster than my friends did. So really, they can't understand the decisions I make. They can only relate to an extent.
I've learned so much about myself and the things that I know I want in a man and the things I don't. I've learned about the things men need from a women and the things that they don't. Everyone comes to me for advise on their relationships even though I've been considered of moving too fast. I believe there is an order that should be followed, but never a time stamp.
If you like someone, and you're dating; meaning going out to public places together; should you wait 6 months before telling that person you really like him/her or is it natural for you to just say it when you feel it? If you felt that you love someone and there's been enough time that's passed that you won't scare that person away by saying it, do you just say it? Or do you wait a year because you don't want people telling you you're moving too fast? If you've been together a year and your strongest emotion you feel together is love, should you wait another 2 years before moving in together? Is moving in together after a year moving too fast? So you see how silly these time stamps are? I would enjoy meeting a couple that bases their emotions from a time line; 5 months together, say I love you; 1 year together,discuss moving in; 2 years, move in together; 3 years, hope to be engaged; 4 years be married; 1 year into marriage, schedule our sex; 2 years into marriage, get pregnant.....
I understand people have a plan. I have friends who are happy with their scheduled sex on Tuesday's and Friday's. But to label someone's love life as moving to fast is ridiculous. Every situation is different. But without the risk of taking any of it, you'll live in fear. You'll live in a box that becomes your safety zone, and maybe when you're 45 years old; you might decide to take a risk and meet someone. Then you know what will happen? You'll wonder why you didn't try it before.
It's like frozen yogurt. The majority of America eat ice cream. Ice cream is yummy and makes me fat but I can't stop eating it. It doesn't get me any where by always eating it....NOM NOM FREAKIN NOM! But then someone tells you about frozen yogurt and it makes your little brain ponder. You tell yourself you only know a few people that eat it but you're good with ice cream. Then you try that frozen yogurt and you realize that it is really good. Then you one day stop eating ice cream and stick to that frozen yogurt. Why haven't I been eating this all along? Because you're a dumb ass, that's why. No really.
If your friend asks you if they are moving too fast, give your honest advise. Otherwise you'll just be judging them. Friends shouldn't judge each other; they should just hold their index finger out with the straight up truth. Friends are each other's mirrors. They are there to help see the risks that are being taken, not to take the risks away from you. Then when a friend comes crying saying you were right, learn to comfort that person.
If you are MY friend, you should feel lucky. Because I will never lie to you. I would also tell you if your make-up looks bad even if it hurts your feelings. Because I am a real friend. You want to know if you look like shit today? You probably do if you're asking me; a true friend.
And I'm ending this with an LOL because I love myself.
I love to get feedback from the people that are close to me and those who aren't because their opinions really do matter to me. But all the while, this makes me really think of what do they know that I don't?
I was married very quickly after my engagement and I agree with this. We moved in together after only 3 months. A mistake I made in which I learned from. At the end of the marriage he truly was not the guy for me regardless of how quickly things moved along. The next man, I waited a year and still I was told by all my friends that I moved to quickly. What is too quickly these days?! Should I wait 5 years, then maybe think about my feelings for this person? I mean why should there be a time stamp on this?
It frustrates me to hear people tell me I move to quickly when all the moves I've taken have been risks. Big ones. One's that I am glad happened because I've learned more about men and relationships at such a young age where 30 year old women are starting to understand all the things I've already experienced. I was married at 22. I've been a mother since 17. I've had 4 serious relationships and lived together in each of those. And I'm going to be 27 this year. I think people should reorder their comments/advise the next time they want to tell me I'm moving to fast. I think I grew up faster than my friends did. So really, they can't understand the decisions I make. They can only relate to an extent.
I've learned so much about myself and the things that I know I want in a man and the things I don't. I've learned about the things men need from a women and the things that they don't. Everyone comes to me for advise on their relationships even though I've been considered of moving too fast. I believe there is an order that should be followed, but never a time stamp.
If you like someone, and you're dating; meaning going out to public places together; should you wait 6 months before telling that person you really like him/her or is it natural for you to just say it when you feel it? If you felt that you love someone and there's been enough time that's passed that you won't scare that person away by saying it, do you just say it? Or do you wait a year because you don't want people telling you you're moving too fast? If you've been together a year and your strongest emotion you feel together is love, should you wait another 2 years before moving in together? Is moving in together after a year moving too fast? So you see how silly these time stamps are? I would enjoy meeting a couple that bases their emotions from a time line; 5 months together, say I love you; 1 year together,discuss moving in; 2 years, move in together; 3 years, hope to be engaged; 4 years be married; 1 year into marriage, schedule our sex; 2 years into marriage, get pregnant.....
I understand people have a plan. I have friends who are happy with their scheduled sex on Tuesday's and Friday's. But to label someone's love life as moving to fast is ridiculous. Every situation is different. But without the risk of taking any of it, you'll live in fear. You'll live in a box that becomes your safety zone, and maybe when you're 45 years old; you might decide to take a risk and meet someone. Then you know what will happen? You'll wonder why you didn't try it before.
It's like frozen yogurt. The majority of America eat ice cream. Ice cream is yummy and makes me fat but I can't stop eating it. It doesn't get me any where by always eating it....NOM NOM FREAKIN NOM! But then someone tells you about frozen yogurt and it makes your little brain ponder. You tell yourself you only know a few people that eat it but you're good with ice cream. Then you try that frozen yogurt and you realize that it is really good. Then you one day stop eating ice cream and stick to that frozen yogurt. Why haven't I been eating this all along? Because you're a dumb ass, that's why. No really.
If your friend asks you if they are moving too fast, give your honest advise. Otherwise you'll just be judging them. Friends shouldn't judge each other; they should just hold their index finger out with the straight up truth. Friends are each other's mirrors. They are there to help see the risks that are being taken, not to take the risks away from you. Then when a friend comes crying saying you were right, learn to comfort that person.
If you are MY friend, you should feel lucky. Because I will never lie to you. I would also tell you if your make-up looks bad even if it hurts your feelings. Because I am a real friend. You want to know if you look like shit today? You probably do if you're asking me; a true friend.
And I'm ending this with an LOL because I love myself.
She's Beautiful
A man sees a women with all her glitz and gorgeous lips,
he realizes it was the rhinestones on her jeans and the gloss on her lips,
But he said he also had her scent on his shirt,
expensive perfume she wore every so often when Cosmo came in,
He was so sure she was beautiful in the morning,
he realized only that one time when she didn't wash her make-up off,
Her nails manicured and her hair trimmed nicely,
But again just that one time he took her out,
A man sees a women with all her glitz and gorgeous lips,
as he truly sees a frame but no picture,
a painting with no paint,
A man sees a women with all her glitz and gorgeous lips,
to find out he wanted a women,
not a frame with no picture,
and a painting with no paint.
he realizes it was the rhinestones on her jeans and the gloss on her lips,
But he said he also had her scent on his shirt,
expensive perfume she wore every so often when Cosmo came in,
He was so sure she was beautiful in the morning,
he realized only that one time when she didn't wash her make-up off,
Her nails manicured and her hair trimmed nicely,
But again just that one time he took her out,
A man sees a women with all her glitz and gorgeous lips,
as he truly sees a frame but no picture,
a painting with no paint,
A man sees a women with all her glitz and gorgeous lips,
to find out he wanted a women,
not a frame with no picture,
and a painting with no paint.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Umbrella
The rain has poured for years and the wind has blown me away in a different direction every time,
A new storm appears and the rain comes down again but this time to help me cry it out,
And as the tears run down my face the rain begins to show its place,
And as it's rained on me for years,
I haven't had an umbrella to help me see my way through,
So I continued my way with some cloudy days.
When the winds of change blew through,
I didn't understand why again?
Now I'm facing my fears,
Now I am facing all the reasons the rain is here,
And when the rain began to pour,
An umbrella appears at my door,
Then the questions piled up,
I realized I am being shown a different direction,
And that's when the rain turned into you.
So let it rain, let it pour,
That's what my umbrella's for.
A new storm appears and the rain comes down again but this time to help me cry it out,
And as the tears run down my face the rain begins to show its place,
And as it's rained on me for years,
I haven't had an umbrella to help me see my way through,
So I continued my way with some cloudy days.
When the winds of change blew through,
I didn't understand why again?
Now I'm facing my fears,
Now I am facing all the reasons the rain is here,
And when the rain began to pour,
An umbrella appears at my door,
Then the questions piled up,
I realized I am being shown a different direction,
And that's when the rain turned into you.
So let it rain, let it pour,
That's what my umbrella's for.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Get In My Mouth and Never Leave!
I started this new meal plan. A strict meal plan. I'm cutting out sugar and carbs. My two favorite things. Usually for breakfast I get down with 4 sausage patties, a biscuit, bacon and a lot of fruit... today I had oatmeal and an apple. You fucking health nuts! That's what I was thinking.
I'm doing good as the day progresses, but then I need to attend a mandatory meeting at work. The email said there will be snacks and refreshments. I walk in, THERE'S SODA AND FUCKING COOKIES EVERYWHERE! Nah man! Why? Resist, Val.... resist! Oh man, I sat in my chair and fought so hard not to grab one of those delectable cookies. They smelled good. I started sweating, and grinding my teeth. Longest 15 fucking minutes of my life! I booked it thee fuck out of there when it was over.
So I get home to change into some jeans before I go and pick up my daughter. I'm about to walk out as the corner of my eye catches this beautiful brown bag labeled M&M's. Oh yeah, that baby was off limits. But why couldn't I just have one? Just one M&M? It's cool. NO! I walked out and when I got to the bottom of the stairs I had a vision. So I ran back up to my apartment, swung open that door and popped that little bicth in my mouth. OH WOW! So goooood! I sucked on it, and closed my eyes. All this flavor and passion in my mouth, I didn't want it to be gone. The guilt ran down my body straight to my thighs! Oh well! Tomorrow is day 2...
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Decode Before You Depants
In my own non professional opinion, I've noticed there are four different types of women; women that want to be married with children some day, women that hope they find a man they really want this time, women that date men and find something wrong, on purpose and women that just want to fuck you. Then never call you again.
What does he want me to be? A lady is the street and a freak in the sheets? Isn't every women already like this? Yes. So what else could he want me to be? Healthy and funny? Well, he doesn't talk to any other type. So if he's talking to me, it must mean I have something he likes.
THIS ^^ is something most women do when you, a man; buys her a drink and talks to her for the first time or whatever the occasion may be. The first time a man is approaching a women this is exactly what they are thinking. Sad, but true. And then after that, we're categorized in the categories that Valeria just made up.
If she's part of that I want marriage and children category, she's sizing you up. Before you even approached her. Because women like that go out, look for prey and then pose as live bait. When you buy her a drink, she's thinking white picket fence and is wondering what your last name is.
If she's part of that I hope he has everything I've ever wanted category, she just wants to take things easy. She's the kind of girl that wants to buy you a drink just for the conversation because she likes your shoes. And, well, a man with nice shoes always has something good to say.
If she's part of the We can date, but I know there is something wrong with you category, she's going to be welcoming, flirty and very stand off-ish if you attempt to buy her a drink. Because all she can think about is if you're going to try and take her home for some mattress mambo. She's the one that gives it up on the 8th date. Then dumps you because you're fingers look like they were made from those mini sausages.
If she's part of the I just want to fuck you and nothing more category, she's going to ask you out and make the first move. You may get two dates out of this girl until she blows your brains out. Then you'll become that guy at the bar, complaining why you haven't heard from her and how it was the best you ever had. While your friends will be telling you, you should feel lucky she isn't calling you.
What does he want me to be? A lady is the street and a freak in the sheets? Isn't every women already like this? Yes. So what else could he want me to be? Healthy and funny? Well, he doesn't talk to any other type. So if he's talking to me, it must mean I have something he likes.
THIS ^^ is something most women do when you, a man; buys her a drink and talks to her for the first time or whatever the occasion may be. The first time a man is approaching a women this is exactly what they are thinking. Sad, but true. And then after that, we're categorized in the categories that Valeria just made up.
If she's part of that I want marriage and children category, she's sizing you up. Before you even approached her. Because women like that go out, look for prey and then pose as live bait. When you buy her a drink, she's thinking white picket fence and is wondering what your last name is.
If she's part of that I hope he has everything I've ever wanted category, she just wants to take things easy. She's the kind of girl that wants to buy you a drink just for the conversation because she likes your shoes. And, well, a man with nice shoes always has something good to say.
If she's part of the We can date, but I know there is something wrong with you category, she's going to be welcoming, flirty and very stand off-ish if you attempt to buy her a drink. Because all she can think about is if you're going to try and take her home for some mattress mambo. She's the one that gives it up on the 8th date. Then dumps you because you're fingers look like they were made from those mini sausages.
If she's part of the I just want to fuck you and nothing more category, she's going to ask you out and make the first move. You may get two dates out of this girl until she blows your brains out. Then you'll become that guy at the bar, complaining why you haven't heard from her and how it was the best you ever had. While your friends will be telling you, you should feel lucky she isn't calling you.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Myself In Limbo
My weary eyes
these weary eyes,
for so long its been unclear
to see past today
for commitment was my fear
for so long its been this way.
My unconscious mind
this unconscious mind,
for so long its never thought
to know there could be more
this was not my only shot
just like the ones before.
My beating heart
this beating heart,
incoherent to the broken times
comfortable in that rocking chair
never pin pointed what was deprived
for this heart I have was unfair.
My empty hands
these empty hands,
held on to the good they felt
traced the picture everyday
let go of the bad they held
then found out I had a say.
Good bye to those weary eyes,
for they found a new perspective.
So long to that unconscious mind,
for it found a new prodigy.
Hello to my beating heart,
as its found quality.
Farewell to empty hands,
as they have been filled with another.
these weary eyes,
for so long its been unclear
to see past today
for commitment was my fear
for so long its been this way.
My unconscious mind
this unconscious mind,
for so long its never thought
to know there could be more
this was not my only shot
just like the ones before.
My beating heart
this beating heart,
incoherent to the broken times
comfortable in that rocking chair
never pin pointed what was deprived
for this heart I have was unfair.
My empty hands
these empty hands,
held on to the good they felt
traced the picture everyday
let go of the bad they held
then found out I had a say.
Good bye to those weary eyes,
for they found a new perspective.
So long to that unconscious mind,
for it found a new prodigy.
Hello to my beating heart,
as its found quality.
Farewell to empty hands,
as they have been filled with another.
I'll Take a Little Simple in my Coffee with a Side of Extravagant
I love to talk about simplicity. I enjoy helping people understand the simple things in their lives that they didn't know they had any meaning. There is a time and place for over the top anything. It's customary to put good thoughts and lots of planning for over the top anything. But that's just my point... No one puts any thought about simple things that you can do for your guy or gal in between those over the top events, presents or whatever.
People hear, New Years, birthday, Christmas, anniversary and so on; so people think 'oh I need to get or do something big'. You will be surprised how you can make a big occasion into something simple and get even more appreciation out of it. How do I know? I'm all about the simple things. I love being spoiled too, don't get me wrong. But when someone goes all out for me, the appreciation and excitement level is incredible because It's not something I get everyday.
I love and enjoy anything romantic no matter the time of day. And I know every girl out there does too. Of course we want something special done for our birthday. Who doesn't? The biggest thing for me is having some type of dessert to blow a candle out and make a wish. Sometimes all we want is a cake, a candle, maybe in a park at night picnic style; just you and me. Or in the middle of the living room floor, and the only light is the candles surrounding us. I love my friends and I always enjoy spending my birthdays with them, but sometimes the bonding time between you and your guy or girl can be the strongest on a special occasion. The intensity of excitement is higher and it really feels good when the crowd is smaller.
If you know there is a big event tonight for you and your girl or guy, leave little notes through out the house that you know they will find to anticipate the evening. If you know she is going to try on 4 different pairs of shoes, leave sticky notes and in them and say something sexy/sweet. If you know your man is going to shave for the event, leave him a card in the area he has all his gadgets. It's flirting, it's cute and it puts you in a good mood. I know women really appreciate those small gestures because it makes us feel wanted, and reminds us that we are on your mind. Men, they soak it up.
Spoil me and I jump around like a little school girl that just found out she got a life time supply of Lisa Frank stuff. Do me a simple deed and I won't stop talking about it for a long time. Both sweet, different reactions, same meaning in my heart.
People hear, New Years, birthday, Christmas, anniversary and so on; so people think 'oh I need to get or do something big'. You will be surprised how you can make a big occasion into something simple and get even more appreciation out of it. How do I know? I'm all about the simple things. I love being spoiled too, don't get me wrong. But when someone goes all out for me, the appreciation and excitement level is incredible because It's not something I get everyday.
I love and enjoy anything romantic no matter the time of day. And I know every girl out there does too. Of course we want something special done for our birthday. Who doesn't? The biggest thing for me is having some type of dessert to blow a candle out and make a wish. Sometimes all we want is a cake, a candle, maybe in a park at night picnic style; just you and me. Or in the middle of the living room floor, and the only light is the candles surrounding us. I love my friends and I always enjoy spending my birthdays with them, but sometimes the bonding time between you and your guy or girl can be the strongest on a special occasion. The intensity of excitement is higher and it really feels good when the crowd is smaller.
If you know there is a big event tonight for you and your girl or guy, leave little notes through out the house that you know they will find to anticipate the evening. If you know she is going to try on 4 different pairs of shoes, leave sticky notes and in them and say something sexy/sweet. If you know your man is going to shave for the event, leave him a card in the area he has all his gadgets. It's flirting, it's cute and it puts you in a good mood. I know women really appreciate those small gestures because it makes us feel wanted, and reminds us that we are on your mind. Men, they soak it up.
Spoil me and I jump around like a little school girl that just found out she got a life time supply of Lisa Frank stuff. Do me a simple deed and I won't stop talking about it for a long time. Both sweet, different reactions, same meaning in my heart.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Relationships in the Recession
I know these days there are some people out there that want to impress their date, more so when it is the first one. We want to do something extravagant, we want to wow them and make them feel that they were worth the effort. Then you're broke and now you don't have cash for the second date =(
This brings me to thinking that why wouldn't you do something that you enjoy (saying you are the one that pursued the other person) and show them one of the many hobbies you have. It can show that person what your about when they are in your comfort zone. Seems like these days the dinner date is the most popular. But after that your tired and feel like sleeping because you two are in a food coma.
I know for sure that simple is better. Simple helps build you to extravagant. And when I say extravagant, I mean something that you know he/she will appreciate. Coffee shop dates for my me are by far the best. Sitting around and people watching is relaxing! Simple to some people may be a fancy fuck dinner, a limo and show. To each its own!
Money should never be an issue or the solution to a relationship. You have to picture your self with that person and think, would I be satisfied with watching a movie at home with this person? Would you still feel excited? To only need each other as a foundation is the key to a healthy start.
This brings me to thinking that why wouldn't you do something that you enjoy (saying you are the one that pursued the other person) and show them one of the many hobbies you have. It can show that person what your about when they are in your comfort zone. Seems like these days the dinner date is the most popular. But after that your tired and feel like sleeping because you two are in a food coma.
I know for sure that simple is better. Simple helps build you to extravagant. And when I say extravagant, I mean something that you know he/she will appreciate. Coffee shop dates for my me are by far the best. Sitting around and people watching is relaxing! Simple to some people may be a fancy fuck dinner, a limo and show. To each its own!
Money should never be an issue or the solution to a relationship. You have to picture your self with that person and think, would I be satisfied with watching a movie at home with this person? Would you still feel excited? To only need each other as a foundation is the key to a healthy start.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Touch Me
I had a conversation today with a friend who was experiencing a low amount of intimacy. It made me think about how much we as humans love to be touched.
I know me, being a women - I like to be touched all the time. I like to feel what you're thinking, I like to feel just you. Touching plays a huge part in the "I feel wanted category". It's such a simple thing to do, but an important piece everyone should have in a relationship.
Us ladies need and MUST have this. Touch my legs with yours when we're sleeping. Let me know you're thinking of me even though I see you're right next to me, its not the same thing. Touch my shoulder with your finger tips when we're at an event. Let me know that even though there are five different conversations going on, you're still involved in mine. Hold my hand in the car. Even if we're going down the street. It's all about the "I'm always going to be here feeling". It's nice to have.
No matter how long you've been together, touching acts as a way of flirting with each other. It keeps you wanting just a little bit more. I really like when it becomes playful. I think a lot of women do.
I know men love these things too, their just not as quick to admitting it like us ladies are. But we want to treat our men like we want to be treated, right ladies? Yes! Hello! Run your fingers through his hair, scratch his head, tug his ear lobes, kiss his neck and so on... Now if you're thinking sexual - that is not where I am heading. I'm think more on the casual lines here. I mean, you could get dirty but that's another conversation ;)
We never really grow out of thattouch me phase that begins when we're children, so why ignore it or neglect it? It's a beautiful thing.
I always found myself wanting to be touched after an argument or disagreement as a reassurance. We just need it. Like water, we have to have it in our lives, otherwise our bodies won't survive. Touch is a powerful tool. We need it to know you care, that you're here. We can see how much you care, we can try and feel how much you care. But when you touch someone, that's when their senses become intertwined and now you know it's all going to be okay.
I know me, being a women - I like to be touched all the time. I like to feel what you're thinking, I like to feel just you. Touching plays a huge part in the "I feel wanted category". It's such a simple thing to do, but an important piece everyone should have in a relationship.
Us ladies need and MUST have this. Touch my legs with yours when we're sleeping. Let me know you're thinking of me even though I see you're right next to me, its not the same thing. Touch my shoulder with your finger tips when we're at an event. Let me know that even though there are five different conversations going on, you're still involved in mine. Hold my hand in the car. Even if we're going down the street. It's all about the "I'm always going to be here feeling". It's nice to have.
No matter how long you've been together, touching acts as a way of flirting with each other. It keeps you wanting just a little bit more. I really like when it becomes playful. I think a lot of women do.
I know men love these things too, their just not as quick to admitting it like us ladies are. But we want to treat our men like we want to be treated, right ladies? Yes! Hello! Run your fingers through his hair, scratch his head, tug his ear lobes, kiss his neck and so on... Now if you're thinking sexual - that is not where I am heading. I'm think more on the casual lines here. I mean, you could get dirty but that's another conversation ;)
We never really grow out of thattouch me phase that begins when we're children, so why ignore it or neglect it? It's a beautiful thing.
I always found myself wanting to be touched after an argument or disagreement as a reassurance. We just need it. Like water, we have to have it in our lives, otherwise our bodies won't survive. Touch is a powerful tool. We need it to know you care, that you're here. We can see how much you care, we can try and feel how much you care. But when you touch someone, that's when their senses become intertwined and now you know it's all going to be okay.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Clueless
I sit and think and sit and think,
until this day it remains a mystery
of why we hurt
and why we cry
to live with all this pain inside
but soon one day and very soon
things will show the light you need
and when that light begins to shine
so you will you and all you have
until that day just learn to breathe
in a way you never have before.
until this day it remains a mystery
of why we hurt
and why we cry
to live with all this pain inside
but soon one day and very soon
things will show the light you need
and when that light begins to shine
so you will you and all you have
until that day just learn to breathe
in a way you never have before.
Standing Alone
I see your face and movement from your mouth,
I hear nothing.
I see the tears you try so hard to hold back,
their welting in your eyes.
I see your body language and
it doesn't make any sense.
I feel the pain,
but I'm not dead.
I feel the loss
with my heart.
I know love is sometimes nothing,
but I'm the wrong person to feel that with.
I know your heart has taken off,
but mine was here watching it go.
I can't see beyond today,
I am blinded with how I feel.
I can't tell you everything I want to say,
you're on one side and I'm on another.
I see your face and it makes me ache,
I see no tears and makes me think.
I hear nothing.
I see the tears you try so hard to hold back,
their welting in your eyes.
I see your body language and
it doesn't make any sense.
I feel the pain,
but I'm not dead.
I feel the loss
with my heart.
I know love is sometimes nothing,
but I'm the wrong person to feel that with.
I know your heart has taken off,
but mine was here watching it go.
I can't see beyond today,
I am blinded with how I feel.
I can't tell you everything I want to say,
you're on one side and I'm on another.
I see your face and it makes me ache,
I see no tears and makes me think.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Kissing Chances and Sleeping with Risk
You take some and give some from each relationship you devote yourself too.
In some, you may have giving too much and taking less, and then taken too much and just felt like you didn't give enough. The equilibrium in your relationship was uneven so now the only thing that was left was breaking up. The cause of a broken heart, tears on your pillow, pain in your body and so on. We could go on for hours to list all the things that we feel when someone decides they don't want to be with us. You and only you have time on your side, mostly of when you decide to get out bed and get yourself together to begin the process of moving on. It sounds scary to think you could move on with your life without the one you were spending so much time with. In reality, you always could you just didn't want to. Now you're forced to.
As you begin to do all things you did before, you at one time thought that coffee would never taste the same, movies wouldn't be as funny, your bed would never be warm. And as the days pass by, you change your reasons of why you drank coffee and now it tastes better. You never liked going to the movies before so now it doesn't matter if it will ever be funny or not. And your bed heated right up when you realized the heater was off.
Start kissing those chances since they are the ones that will help you decide in all good things. Selectively sleep with risk and understand that without the risk there is no chance.
In some, you may have giving too much and taking less, and then taken too much and just felt like you didn't give enough. The equilibrium in your relationship was uneven so now the only thing that was left was breaking up. The cause of a broken heart, tears on your pillow, pain in your body and so on. We could go on for hours to list all the things that we feel when someone decides they don't want to be with us. You and only you have time on your side, mostly of when you decide to get out bed and get yourself together to begin the process of moving on. It sounds scary to think you could move on with your life without the one you were spending so much time with. In reality, you always could you just didn't want to. Now you're forced to.
As you begin to do all things you did before, you at one time thought that coffee would never taste the same, movies wouldn't be as funny, your bed would never be warm. And as the days pass by, you change your reasons of why you drank coffee and now it tastes better. You never liked going to the movies before so now it doesn't matter if it will ever be funny or not. And your bed heated right up when you realized the heater was off.
Start kissing those chances since they are the ones that will help you decide in all good things. Selectively sleep with risk and understand that without the risk there is no chance.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Adore Me Now
When he adores you, you should feel like there is no worry in the world even when you have a hundred of them.
When he adores you, you start loosing the times when one never did.
When he adores you, you feel like the women that was made for the passenger seat in his car.
When he adores you, you don't wonder or question anything.
When he adores you, allowing things to fall into place feels natural.
When he adores you, he acts like another part of your body.
Then when you realize that he adores you, you loose your breathe. You start to understand the reasoning behind the failed relationships. You know that there are more things to be done and less to be said. One day at a time.
When he adores you, you start loosing the times when one never did.
When he adores you, you feel like the women that was made for the passenger seat in his car.
When he adores you, you don't wonder or question anything.
When he adores you, allowing things to fall into place feels natural.
When he adores you, he acts like another part of your body.
Then when you realize that he adores you, you loose your breathe. You start to understand the reasoning behind the failed relationships. You know that there are more things to be done and less to be said. One day at a time.
Friday, March 25, 2011
What A DAY!
What a weird week. I mean things could have been worse but I don't care what would have been worse, it all was bad.
So I'm super happy about the amount I'm receiving on my tax refund, to only find out a good chuck of it was garnished. I was so disappointed. I called the company who prepared it and they could not see what the issue was. So the I call the IRS and they could not tell me either. The IRS tells me that I will be receiving a letter in the mail that will explain everything. This is just perfect. I'm moving in one week. How lovely.
So then the day continues as I am picking up my son. As he is telling me about his upcoming field trip, he realizes that his trip in this coming Tuesday. BUT as I am reading his permission slip it says April not March. So then I am telling him its next month he starts to get upset. Like he started tearing up. My 8 year old tough guy is crying about a field trip to the zoo. Little does he know, I already planned a trip to the zoo tomorrow. But that didn't make him happy. So then he wants his dad and his aunt to come with. So I was like okay that's fine they can come too. The more the merrier, right?
The only person that was super happy today was my little girl. We picked her up from school and she was just bursting with joy. It was adorable.
After all the tears I cried and my son cried, we are tired. But then we get home and my kids suddenly get in hyper mode and now they are running all over the place - good for them. Blogging is my playtime.
So I'm super happy about the amount I'm receiving on my tax refund, to only find out a good chuck of it was garnished. I was so disappointed. I called the company who prepared it and they could not see what the issue was. So the I call the IRS and they could not tell me either. The IRS tells me that I will be receiving a letter in the mail that will explain everything. This is just perfect. I'm moving in one week. How lovely.
So then the day continues as I am picking up my son. As he is telling me about his upcoming field trip, he realizes that his trip in this coming Tuesday. BUT as I am reading his permission slip it says April not March. So then I am telling him its next month he starts to get upset. Like he started tearing up. My 8 year old tough guy is crying about a field trip to the zoo. Little does he know, I already planned a trip to the zoo tomorrow. But that didn't make him happy. So then he wants his dad and his aunt to come with. So I was like okay that's fine they can come too. The more the merrier, right?
The only person that was super happy today was my little girl. We picked her up from school and she was just bursting with joy. It was adorable.
After all the tears I cried and my son cried, we are tired. But then we get home and my kids suddenly get in hyper mode and now they are running all over the place - good for them. Blogging is my playtime.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The Movement
You love over and over again until the love runs out or someone's heart gets broken. You love over and over again without the thought of how your last relationship ended. You love over and over again even when he or she doesn't love you back. You love over and over again even when it hurts. You love over and over again until you either realize you're better off alone or you've falling in love. Loving feels good if you really know how to love someone.
You cry when your heart breaks. You cry when you've been lied to. You cry when you've been cheated on. You cry when you've been ignored. You cry when things don't go your way. Have you ever cried you were so happy? Did you cry the last time you were surprised? Did your eyes tear up when you found a love note that was left for you? I think crying is such a good stress reliever, why wait to cry for something, more so when it's bad? The good things in life deserve a tear.
And after it all, you move on.
You cry when your heart breaks. You cry when you've been lied to. You cry when you've been cheated on. You cry when you've been ignored. You cry when things don't go your way. Have you ever cried you were so happy? Did you cry the last time you were surprised? Did your eyes tear up when you found a love note that was left for you? I think crying is such a good stress reliever, why wait to cry for something, more so when it's bad? The good things in life deserve a tear.
And after it all, you move on.
Monday, March 21, 2011
R.I.P. Doormat
So I am about to walk out of my house this morning, and as I am opening the door - I see that my most awesome skull doormat is missing. Gone. Vanished. STOLEN!
What the fuck man! I seriously had the same reaction a person would have if a dead body was dumped on their door step! I GASP'd thee fuck out!
Man that damn thing cost me $30! I would NEVER spend $30 on a fucking doormat....but it was so awesome I couldn't resist. But now it's gone.
Fuck those assholes! Supporting their fucking crack habit by selling my damn doormat. I will fucking cut them! Who does that shit! I mean steal a car, lie about needing a water cup and get Sprite....but steal a doormat? That must mean your ugly...
Mother fuckers! I fucking steal your life!
What the fuck man! I seriously had the same reaction a person would have if a dead body was dumped on their door step! I GASP'd thee fuck out!
Man that damn thing cost me $30! I would NEVER spend $30 on a fucking doormat....but it was so awesome I couldn't resist. But now it's gone.
Fuck those assholes! Supporting their fucking crack habit by selling my damn doormat. I will fucking cut them! Who does that shit! I mean steal a car, lie about needing a water cup and get Sprite....but steal a doormat? That must mean your ugly...
Mother fuckers! I fucking steal your life!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
You gotta fight!
You fight so hard for the things you want, the things you need and the things you think are worth fighting for. What I want is to be happy. What I need is to be happy. My happiness is worth it.
No one ever understands why things happen. So they comfort themselves by saying things happen for a reason. I think time will give you that understanding that you deserve. Everything is reason, things will happen. Don't lean on reason, lean on life. Life happens. Embrace it even when someone has broken your heart. Or like the when the PHX Suns lost to Houston. Those are sad things, but you didn't stop working. You moved on, or are continuing to move on.
No one ever understands why things happen. So they comfort themselves by saying things happen for a reason. I think time will give you that understanding that you deserve. Everything is reason, things will happen. Don't lean on reason, lean on life. Life happens. Embrace it even when someone has broken your heart. Or like the when the PHX Suns lost to Houston. Those are sad things, but you didn't stop working. You moved on, or are continuing to move on.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Home Away From Home
I walked into a room with candle light, soft music and a place to sit. And in this room I felt so warm. So cared for I forgot how to properly sit. Where did my manors go? This room has walls with colors that put me at ease. Suddenly the chair turned into a chaise lounge and I layed my head back and closed my eyes. I layed there until it was time to go.
I became a little sad, for this place felt like home away from home. So as I left, all I could think about was when I would return to this room so I can feel the way the way I did when I was there. Warm, cared for, at ease.
I became a little sad, for this place felt like home away from home. So as I left, all I could think about was when I would return to this room so I can feel the way the way I did when I was there. Warm, cared for, at ease.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
My Vagina Is More Than Just A Baby Temple
Everyone loves vagina, that is why they say " Pop that pussy! heyyy! Pop that pussy, baby! Pop that pussy!". No, I'm being serious. People love vagina so much that they even opened up salons to eliminate the hair that grows on your vagina so you don't have to! Brilliant! Just lovely.
People love vagina so much that after a break up, you still fuck. And if you're not still fucking, you're thinking about. And if you're not breaking up then your seeking vagina from another. That's how powerful our shit is. Sometimes when things get really shitty we start making deals, like, if you do all the dishes this weekend you are guaranteed some pussy. We're evil like that.
It's funny when it's bathing suit season, you men all try and hope a lip falls out and shit. Dirty mother fuckers. You don't admit it, but you sure do think that shit. It's like men and the lesbo's can't function with out some pussy. And if you're not popping that pussy, you're wanking your tank.
Vagina is the only thing that we all want to go bald. We don't want any hair down there. Well, sometimes it's cute with a little trim and shit. But back in the day, I've seen some girls with complete baldness and it didn't look to good on them. They looked like 12 year old boys. I don't know what a 12 year old boy looks like down there, but I can't imagine them having hair already at 12. Well, unless your Italian or Mexican...We can call you Pedro. I will vote for you.
I know men love vagina so much that they go into their 40's as single old farts because they like to think vagina will be available on call 24/7. No buddy! Not even with all the money in the world. Not even if you are a retired model. No sir. That dick is 40 years old. There really isn't anything wrong with 40 year old dick if you're married to it.
I mean, vagina has its age too but it will never go limp. It stays magical. It's not just a baby temple. It's a golden holster for your golden dick. Only special ones can be called that.
Men, unless we want you to treat our magical vagina like shit don't do it. We will spread the word to all our girls and you will then be known as the "shit treating vagina man". You will get no play, or better yet, you may only get FB friend requests from hairy vagina girls.
Don't get me wrong!! Sometimes, and only sometimes, we want you to be a dirt bag and fuck the shit out of us! We need one of those every once in a while. Some whores just like it like that around the clock.
Vagina, Vagina, Vagina!!!
People love vagina so much that after a break up, you still fuck. And if you're not still fucking, you're thinking about. And if you're not breaking up then your seeking vagina from another. That's how powerful our shit is. Sometimes when things get really shitty we start making deals, like, if you do all the dishes this weekend you are guaranteed some pussy. We're evil like that.
It's funny when it's bathing suit season, you men all try and hope a lip falls out and shit. Dirty mother fuckers. You don't admit it, but you sure do think that shit. It's like men and the lesbo's can't function with out some pussy. And if you're not popping that pussy, you're wanking your tank.
Vagina is the only thing that we all want to go bald. We don't want any hair down there. Well, sometimes it's cute with a little trim and shit. But back in the day, I've seen some girls with complete baldness and it didn't look to good on them. They looked like 12 year old boys. I don't know what a 12 year old boy looks like down there, but I can't imagine them having hair already at 12. Well, unless your Italian or Mexican...We can call you Pedro. I will vote for you.
I know men love vagina so much that they go into their 40's as single old farts because they like to think vagina will be available on call 24/7. No buddy! Not even with all the money in the world. Not even if you are a retired model. No sir. That dick is 40 years old. There really isn't anything wrong with 40 year old dick if you're married to it.
I mean, vagina has its age too but it will never go limp. It stays magical. It's not just a baby temple. It's a golden holster for your golden dick. Only special ones can be called that.
Men, unless we want you to treat our magical vagina like shit don't do it. We will spread the word to all our girls and you will then be known as the "shit treating vagina man". You will get no play, or better yet, you may only get FB friend requests from hairy vagina girls.
Don't get me wrong!! Sometimes, and only sometimes, we want you to be a dirt bag and fuck the shit out of us! We need one of those every once in a while. Some whores just like it like that around the clock.
Vagina, Vagina, Vagina!!!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
This song really described all the levels we went through. And even though this song is meant for breaking up situations, I still love it even when I'm not getting left.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvxdxiox4Pg
Thank you John Mayer for having a song for every emotion I have. You read my mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvxdxiox4Pg
Thank you John Mayer for having a song for every emotion I have. You read my mind.
Pain is Pain
No matter all the advice that I get, or the conversations I have. Or the replays that occur, at the end of the day it hurts. Its going to hurt for a long time. And it's always going to hurt until it goes away.
Its painful when I wake up and it still hurts when I go to bed. It hurts when I see a photo of us and it makes me sad when I remember when and why we took it.
I feel like everything around me is okay and will be doing better as the days pass me. But there is this small bubble inside of me filled with all the love I still have for him and all of the memories. When it gets poked or rubbed the wrong way, it starts to leak. Then I'm reminded and so I get really sad. Now its no more than 10 or a few more minutes at a time.
I want to get off this ride.
Its painful when I wake up and it still hurts when I go to bed. It hurts when I see a photo of us and it makes me sad when I remember when and why we took it.
I feel like everything around me is okay and will be doing better as the days pass me. But there is this small bubble inside of me filled with all the love I still have for him and all of the memories. When it gets poked or rubbed the wrong way, it starts to leak. Then I'm reminded and so I get really sad. Now its no more than 10 or a few more minutes at a time.
I want to get off this ride.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
The Remains of It All
Empty rooms filled with silence
Empty bottles of wine
A broken heart laying on the floor
Tears blinding the rear view mirror
Permanent rain clouds
One bed to share
Painful conversations
One billion questions
Four empty tissue boxes
Love songs in every direction
A house that isn't a home
Memories become salt to a wound
Tomorrow's take too long
Yesterday's still linger
Today doesn't want to be here
Love
love
/lÊŒv/ Show Spelled [luhv] Show IPA noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
–noun
1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
I looked up the meaning of love. It seems as if people have forgotten why we say it when we hopefully really mean it. I thought love was this emotion that couldn't be explained in detail, it was something you did.
It's when he's at home sick and all you want to do is be sick for him. Its when you have lost your way into his heart and never plan on asking for directions. It's when he kisses you on the forehead every night when you sleep. It's when he makes gives you the last bite.
It's when he can cry on your shoulder when he is really down. It's when your love isn't a secret. It's in the way he strokes your hair. The way he grabs your face when he really misses you.
I've learned that the pain after someone has loved you and left you just shadows everything you once had. It erases everything you thought was fantastic. Then you spend the next three months crying, trying, and giving up.
The pain starts in your eyes, so you begin to cry. Cry so hard where the tears stop pouring and you're just left with all the tears on your shirt and this horrible frown you can't seem to get rid of. Then your brain starts to realize what is happening so you get so mad that he would even dare break your heart. That's when the questioning happens. The pain then travels to your heart and from there it travels into the blood stream. Your hand throb of pain as your reminded he used to love to hold your hand. Then your lips tingle because you can't remember the last time he kissed you. Your tummy starts to hurt and you can't eat, nothing taste good without him. It's like you're not living any more.
Coming to terms and knowing he will never love you again is like drowning in a room full of life guards. I can't understand like I should.
/lÊŒv/ Show Spelled [luhv] Show IPA noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
–noun
1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
I looked up the meaning of love. It seems as if people have forgotten why we say it when we hopefully really mean it. I thought love was this emotion that couldn't be explained in detail, it was something you did.
It's when he's at home sick and all you want to do is be sick for him. Its when you have lost your way into his heart and never plan on asking for directions. It's when he kisses you on the forehead every night when you sleep. It's when he makes gives you the last bite.
It's when he can cry on your shoulder when he is really down. It's when your love isn't a secret. It's in the way he strokes your hair. The way he grabs your face when he really misses you.
I've learned that the pain after someone has loved you and left you just shadows everything you once had. It erases everything you thought was fantastic. Then you spend the next three months crying, trying, and giving up.
The pain starts in your eyes, so you begin to cry. Cry so hard where the tears stop pouring and you're just left with all the tears on your shirt and this horrible frown you can't seem to get rid of. Then your brain starts to realize what is happening so you get so mad that he would even dare break your heart. That's when the questioning happens. The pain then travels to your heart and from there it travels into the blood stream. Your hand throb of pain as your reminded he used to love to hold your hand. Then your lips tingle because you can't remember the last time he kissed you. Your tummy starts to hurt and you can't eat, nothing taste good without him. It's like you're not living any more.
Coming to terms and knowing he will never love you again is like drowning in a room full of life guards. I can't understand like I should.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
No!
You know what, I'm having a damn good time. I am feeling different. Yeah he broke up with me but he broke up with all of me. I'm fucking tired of sitting around having these stupid thoughts and then I look like a fool at the end of the day.
I've said things that I am meaning to stick with. I have taken actions that I am not regretting. I will eventually have a rebound and I will make the absolute most of it because I can.
I'm starting to get this anger and if I don't let it out soon I am going to explode. Being single isn't something I'm used too, but I like the way it feels. And I like all that has happened and all is about to.
From now on, if you want to know what's wrong, I will tell in a snap! It's not going to be the nicest, and it's not going to sound like I care what you think. But men seem to have this HUGE problem with not letting us girls just try and figure out what we can do. When the pressure is on is when we tend to get annoyed.
I believe in things more and I know what I can do to make those beliefs become reality.
But first things first, mama always said stick to what always works!
I'm doing and I'm liking!
I've said things that I am meaning to stick with. I have taken actions that I am not regretting. I will eventually have a rebound and I will make the absolute most of it because I can.
I'm starting to get this anger and if I don't let it out soon I am going to explode. Being single isn't something I'm used too, but I like the way it feels. And I like all that has happened and all is about to.
From now on, if you want to know what's wrong, I will tell in a snap! It's not going to be the nicest, and it's not going to sound like I care what you think. But men seem to have this HUGE problem with not letting us girls just try and figure out what we can do. When the pressure is on is when we tend to get annoyed.
I believe in things more and I know what I can do to make those beliefs become reality.
But first things first, mama always said stick to what always works!
I'm doing and I'm liking!
Damn Those Eggs!
You know when I cook eggs I cook them where they are no longer runny. I hate that shit. I hate eating eggs that get my tortilla or bread soggy. No, fuck that shit. People! When I go somewhere and ask "cook my eggs well done please" that means make my shit well done. WTF, I don't need all this runny shit. If I wanted runny, I'd let me fucking ice cream melt in my damn bowl.
Every time he fucks my eggs up. Then I have to sit at my desk and stare at that shit. I have to use like 45 napkins to drain all that runny egg juice. Man, this is why I become a bitch when it comes to having someone else cook for me.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Where Does It Go Once It's Said & Done?
This happens all the time. People break up that are still very much in love with each other. You say its for the best, but the only best thing you see is right in front of you and he doesn't want you anymore. Everything you've put into your heart and everything you've given with your heart is now worthless. For he doesn't want you to fight for his love, he doesn't want you to be upset over it. He said he didn't want or mean to hurt you, but a bond is breaking and it's not just hurting me but a few others around.
Where does the love go when things go sour? How do you try and move on with all this love for someone else in your heart? I know most people try and harvest it in their friends, family, hobbies, dating...whatever it takes to make that love not feel like it was for him. It's less painful that way.
You were in love the entire year of your relationship. Then suddenly it took 72 hours to end it all. To end it all with so much love left. So much hope you thought you had. Then it's gone just like that.
Love doesn't end overnight just like a person can't change over night.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Sour Punch
You wind up somewhere you never thought. In a puddle of emotions you didn't think could happen when you're broken. And while you're there all you can think about is how much longer could life go on before realizing it was all happening? How many questions needed to be asked before knowing its your heart you should listen to, your mind you should never ignore and your intuition that will never disappear?
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Heartbreak on Level 10
The skies stay blue,
people get up for work.
The roads still hold traffic,
and the lights always turn green.
How is the world still going
when my heart is broken?
How is my body functioning
with a missing piece?
Coffee doesn't taste the same.
Food just doesn't have flavor.
I have 6 different types of bottles drinks
and I have yet to finish one.
Laughing becomes difficult.
Holding back just gets worse.
But yet,
The skies stay blue...
people get up for work.
The roads still hold traffic,
and the lights always turn green.
How is the world still going
when my heart is broken?
How is my body functioning
with a missing piece?
Coffee doesn't taste the same.
Food just doesn't have flavor.
I have 6 different types of bottles drinks
and I have yet to finish one.
Laughing becomes difficult.
Holding back just gets worse.
But yet,
The skies stay blue...
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
There's Nothing I Can Do
I really just want to love him,
To tell him everything he is to me,
To show him the deeper part of my heart.
I really feel like all that love was given up.
Like hope left and never plans to return.
Things I said.
Things I didn't.
How many times do I sit and replay it
Until it goes away?
That lump in my throat seems to like it there.
My eyes are sore from all the tears.
I'm exhausted from being in love
When I can't be loved.
But I won't become a zombie.
I won't sit around and cry.
The worst is over,
And even though I'm in pain,
I'm still breathing.
To tell him everything he is to me,
To show him the deeper part of my heart.
I really feel like all that love was given up.
Like hope left and never plans to return.
Things I said.
Things I didn't.
How many times do I sit and replay it
Until it goes away?
That lump in my throat seems to like it there.
My eyes are sore from all the tears.
I'm exhausted from being in love
When I can't be loved.
But I won't become a zombie.
I won't sit around and cry.
The worst is over,
And even though I'm in pain,
I'm still breathing.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Bad Lemon
Let that lemon roll off the counter
onto that cold floor
let someone find her
see what she's meant for
maybe she's there for a lesson
or to be thrown away
she isn't better than rest
she isn't an innocent stray
she is the kind of lemon that is beyond bitter
more than a choice
no one knows her
no one hears her voice
but someone picks her up
puts her in their bag
she doesn't feel any love
it's just to sad....
And Bingo Was Him Name=O
I can't have dairy products often and when I do have them good things do not happen to me. I decided to try this new place by work, a Mexican food joint. I heard lots of great things about it and so there I was eating it all up! I even got a large horchata! Love those things.
Well, 20 minutes later and my belly is having some issues. Now I'm telling my belly to chill out cause I'm at work and can't be on a pooping mission right now. But it has a mind of its own. Well I can't go poop on my floor, we all know the 2ND floor bathrooms are for pooping. Duh! So there I am flying down 2-3 flights of stairs like if someone was chasing me with a chainsaw. I've never ran so fast down those stairs in heels, but it was an emergency.
I'm hoping, I'm praying that there is not one person in that bathroom cause I'm going to feel really bad if they have to hear what's about to happen. Oh man, my belly is killing me. I slide into the last stall, drop my chonies and BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O!!!!!!!! Holy cow! Man, it's horrible. I thought my bum was from another country by the way it was talking and shit......hahahahahaha.
So finally after 15 minutes of shit, I was done. The race was over. Cut the ribbon and lets get back to work. I couldn't even button my pants up, thank goodness I had a long shirt on!
Pooping at work isn't so bad. Unless everyone is the same building had to share the same bathroom - yikes!
I think I lost my soul back there...
Well, 20 minutes later and my belly is having some issues. Now I'm telling my belly to chill out cause I'm at work and can't be on a pooping mission right now. But it has a mind of its own. Well I can't go poop on my floor, we all know the 2ND floor bathrooms are for pooping. Duh! So there I am flying down 2-3 flights of stairs like if someone was chasing me with a chainsaw. I've never ran so fast down those stairs in heels, but it was an emergency.
I'm hoping, I'm praying that there is not one person in that bathroom cause I'm going to feel really bad if they have to hear what's about to happen. Oh man, my belly is killing me. I slide into the last stall, drop my chonies and BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O!!!!!!!! Holy cow! Man, it's horrible. I thought my bum was from another country by the way it was talking and shit......hahahahahaha.
So finally after 15 minutes of shit, I was done. The race was over. Cut the ribbon and lets get back to work. I couldn't even button my pants up, thank goodness I had a long shirt on!
Pooping at work isn't so bad. Unless everyone is the same building had to share the same bathroom - yikes!
I think I lost my soul back there...
Worry My Life Away
If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. But that’s the problem, I always have something to say and most of the time it isn’t something that is meant to be nice. It’s honesty. I have an easy opinion and it’s not meant to be held in.
I always have lots of things on my mind, I will always worry. I don't think I've lived my life without worry. If I did I may just go insane.
Believe it or not, I actually rather not talk about it sometimes. Some days I just want to be alone. Do my own thing. I'd much rather have less questioning and would more than gladly accept a hug. No words need to be exchanged, just a hug.
I'm an extremely emotional person. Not too many people can keep up with me because of that. But the ones that can usually know that all I need is a hug and just for you to sit next to me. I feel more calm that way, like you really care and really want to know.
Questioning makes me think you want to put your own curiosity as ease no matter what it is but as long as you know. That's all that matters. Well, fine. Push me two more inches away, that's only going to get this no where.
Soft responses is what I need. I don't need to feel like I'm being interrogated when somethings is wrong. But that's the way you deal with things and this is this is my way.
I should never feel the need to ever call anyone else for advise. I should never feel the need to lean on someone else's shoulder. I should never feel like I don't have anyone to talk to that really cares.
I always have lots of things on my mind, I will always worry. I don't think I've lived my life without worry. If I did I may just go insane.
Believe it or not, I actually rather not talk about it sometimes. Some days I just want to be alone. Do my own thing. I'd much rather have less questioning and would more than gladly accept a hug. No words need to be exchanged, just a hug.
I'm an extremely emotional person. Not too many people can keep up with me because of that. But the ones that can usually know that all I need is a hug and just for you to sit next to me. I feel more calm that way, like you really care and really want to know.
Questioning makes me think you want to put your own curiosity as ease no matter what it is but as long as you know. That's all that matters. Well, fine. Push me two more inches away, that's only going to get this no where.
Soft responses is what I need. I don't need to feel like I'm being interrogated when somethings is wrong. But that's the way you deal with things and this is this is my way.
I should never feel the need to ever call anyone else for advise. I should never feel the need to lean on someone else's shoulder. I should never feel like I don't have anyone to talk to that really cares.
Yeah Whatever
I have to tell you that so many people think that I have this piece of girly-ness missing because I prefer not to have flowers giving to me on days you're supposed to give those. I don't like surprises because I thinks it's cliche and it's not exciting to me.
I don't celebrate Valentine's Day with someone because it's forced. Most men hate it because their women nag on how they better be getting them something good or whatever. It's just something else to fight about.
I'm the kind of girl that just wants your attention. All the time. I want to have songs played for me that remind you of me. I want flowers on a rainy day that is least expected. I want to be given chocolate once a month, because that is the only time I really ever want it. I want to be told everything you love about me at random times.
I may like having an agenda, but when it comes to the mentioned above....I'd rather you wing it.
But who am I to say all this shit. People date and its great in the beginning but then you turn into every other couple. And all those super awesome comments stop.
I'm not an average girl. I like to ask for a lot and get a lot in return. I expect too much. But that is a problem I am willing to live with. I could care less about settling down right now. But if I'm 50 years old and have no one, then I might consider marriage. I might consider that there is someone for everyone.
There are a lot of things I would like to believe and things I don't believe it.
But hey you learn something new everyday and then you apply that new lesson and keep on going.
I don't celebrate Valentine's Day with someone because it's forced. Most men hate it because their women nag on how they better be getting them something good or whatever. It's just something else to fight about.
I'm the kind of girl that just wants your attention. All the time. I want to have songs played for me that remind you of me. I want flowers on a rainy day that is least expected. I want to be given chocolate once a month, because that is the only time I really ever want it. I want to be told everything you love about me at random times.
I may like having an agenda, but when it comes to the mentioned above....I'd rather you wing it.
But who am I to say all this shit. People date and its great in the beginning but then you turn into every other couple. And all those super awesome comments stop.
I'm not an average girl. I like to ask for a lot and get a lot in return. I expect too much. But that is a problem I am willing to live with. I could care less about settling down right now. But if I'm 50 years old and have no one, then I might consider marriage. I might consider that there is someone for everyone.
There are a lot of things I would like to believe and things I don't believe it.
But hey you learn something new everyday and then you apply that new lesson and keep on going.
Please Do.....me better
Cross my heart hope to die, stick a thousand needles in my eye
If I live to see another day
Stick one thousand more
If then I live to breathe once more
Blind fold my life as my eyes are sore
If then I become weak of the dark
Then show me little light as I refuse to live little
Keep me contained in a box not fragile
And stamp ship to china on the side
Send me to a place where my face has not been seen
Send me to a place where I no longer need to hide
Wrap me up in bandages
And don't tell anyone where I have been
Cross your heart hope to die, stick a thousand needles in
your eye?
If I live to see another day
Stick one thousand more
If then I live to breathe once more
Blind fold my life as my eyes are sore
If then I become weak of the dark
Then show me little light as I refuse to live little
Keep me contained in a box not fragile
And stamp ship to china on the side
Send me to a place where my face has not been seen
Send me to a place where I no longer need to hide
Wrap me up in bandages
And don't tell anyone where I have been
Cross your heart hope to die, stick a thousand needles in
your eye?
My Story
She wakes up with apple juice stains on her t-shirts and Lego's under the covers.
She doesn't like ketchup with her eggs, but her kids love it.
She never eats dinner because she'd rather see her daughter off to sleep.
Shower time is relaxing time until someone can't reach the juice on the counter.
Her work is everything until she's tired and wants to go home.
She doesn't drink the milk after her bowl of cereal or after dipping cookies in it.
This all may seem weird to people, but to her kids she's mommy.
Some days she watches cartoons even when her kids aren't around.
Some days she falls asleep with her daughters blanket and her sons pillow.
Her kids don't care if there isn't enough time to watch that movie for the fifth time.
Her kids think its funny that she sleeps with one leg out of the covers and with 5 pillows.
She hates it when her arm falls asleep but nothing she can do since one of her angels are sleeping on it.
She curses and kicks air when she's mad, he kids laugh at it.
She talks to herself all the time, no matter who's around.
She waits to fill up on gas when the light comes one.
She's never on time.
She enters a room hoping no one is looking at her.
Bed time is usually around 8pm.....even on the weekends.
She doesn't like ketchup with her eggs, but her kids love it.
She never eats dinner because she'd rather see her daughter off to sleep.
Shower time is relaxing time until someone can't reach the juice on the counter.
Her work is everything until she's tired and wants to go home.
She doesn't drink the milk after her bowl of cereal or after dipping cookies in it.
This all may seem weird to people, but to her kids she's mommy.
Some days she watches cartoons even when her kids aren't around.
Some days she falls asleep with her daughters blanket and her sons pillow.
Her kids don't care if there isn't enough time to watch that movie for the fifth time.
Her kids think its funny that she sleeps with one leg out of the covers and with 5 pillows.
She hates it when her arm falls asleep but nothing she can do since one of her angels are sleeping on it.
She curses and kicks air when she's mad, he kids laugh at it.
She talks to herself all the time, no matter who's around.
She waits to fill up on gas when the light comes one.
She's never on time.
She enters a room hoping no one is looking at her.
Bed time is usually around 8pm.....even on the weekends.
Monday, January 31, 2011
You go one direction and the other goes another
Its a different week, with new plans or no plans. Either way, you're doing something without the other. All these great things to do, but without your partner. Its a little sad and it can really catch up to a person when you look back and realize you were there alone. You're in a relationship with no relation. How does that happen? How do you wake up and feel? Maybe normal because no one really puts any though into it. Well, unless your analytical.
Sometimes you sit and wonder what its all for if you can't share the same memories, you can't share the inside jokes and or the conversations that took place. Some people just do it. They live that way and their fine with it.
You go one direction and the other goes another. Then you come home and go to bed. Its not exciting. Its not boring looking from the inside out out. But looking from the outside in, it can be concerning. Nights in bed are, just another night in bed. It doesn't sound like that place you made up in your mind a few months back when you thought it was your get a way destination, your fort for relaxing, a sea of pillows. No, its just a bed now. With pillows and a small calling that says 'come to bed'.
Your drive home is now like every other person on the road. You once used to be that person that would rush home to get on the road to spend quality time. To see the look on their face when they saw you. Now, you park, you go home, and eat dinner. The exception is gone. The rule has taken over.
Yet you try so hard and you keep trying. But no one can read your mind, so you try actions. Then your actions are shot down, then you try words. Then those words begin to lose their meaning. So then you become silent. A robot. You're programmed to love according to the rule. Because the exception is gone. And to have the least, you follow the rules.
The days of day dreaming are gone and silly conversations are dull. A spontaneous agenda has grown wings and has flown south for the winter. Moments are no longer moments, their pieces of the day that just broke off.
Does satisfactory count? Who knows, and why does it matter now. It's all established and you just keep moving along. At this point you begin to question your self and the support you give. Is there any support given? You tried. You tried many times. But it's okay, sometimes that support is meaningless and whatever needs to replace that can't be found, so you stop searching. Because you looked under the couch, in the closet and in yourself. It's missing, and maybe you're not meant to find it. Maybe someone with that same support system has it but they have not been discovered.
They haven't been discovered because all you know how to do now is live with the rule instead of the exception. And those rules sometimes can't help you move on. There is no motivation, no passion. Just a lack of service.
Those late dinners you remember being so fun, are just now a hassle. A decision that really isn't thought out anymore. It's just another item on the list. All the wonderful moments that used to be are just broken pieces living with a bad strip of tape holding them together.
Suddenly its a new week and you're back on the same path. You go one direction and the other goes another.
Sometimes you sit and wonder what its all for if you can't share the same memories, you can't share the inside jokes and or the conversations that took place. Some people just do it. They live that way and their fine with it.
You go one direction and the other goes another. Then you come home and go to bed. Its not exciting. Its not boring looking from the inside out out. But looking from the outside in, it can be concerning. Nights in bed are, just another night in bed. It doesn't sound like that place you made up in your mind a few months back when you thought it was your get a way destination, your fort for relaxing, a sea of pillows. No, its just a bed now. With pillows and a small calling that says 'come to bed'.
Your drive home is now like every other person on the road. You once used to be that person that would rush home to get on the road to spend quality time. To see the look on their face when they saw you. Now, you park, you go home, and eat dinner. The exception is gone. The rule has taken over.
Yet you try so hard and you keep trying. But no one can read your mind, so you try actions. Then your actions are shot down, then you try words. Then those words begin to lose their meaning. So then you become silent. A robot. You're programmed to love according to the rule. Because the exception is gone. And to have the least, you follow the rules.
The days of day dreaming are gone and silly conversations are dull. A spontaneous agenda has grown wings and has flown south for the winter. Moments are no longer moments, their pieces of the day that just broke off.
Does satisfactory count? Who knows, and why does it matter now. It's all established and you just keep moving along. At this point you begin to question your self and the support you give. Is there any support given? You tried. You tried many times. But it's okay, sometimes that support is meaningless and whatever needs to replace that can't be found, so you stop searching. Because you looked under the couch, in the closet and in yourself. It's missing, and maybe you're not meant to find it. Maybe someone with that same support system has it but they have not been discovered.
They haven't been discovered because all you know how to do now is live with the rule instead of the exception. And those rules sometimes can't help you move on. There is no motivation, no passion. Just a lack of service.
Those late dinners you remember being so fun, are just now a hassle. A decision that really isn't thought out anymore. It's just another item on the list. All the wonderful moments that used to be are just broken pieces living with a bad strip of tape holding them together.
Suddenly its a new week and you're back on the same path. You go one direction and the other goes another.
Friday, January 7, 2011
My Revolution
Since August of 2009 my life has changed dramatically. The event that took place made me re think every aspect of my life and what I was here for. It made me think twice about my family, my self, my kids, my friends, and my job.
I felt like a spec floating in and out of time. Like there was no time for me but to float on by. Well I was tired of floating by and I was tired of taking in second best. So I decided to evaluate every piece of my life and I did just that in five months.
Five months was all I needed to myself to figure out who I was and what the difference was between what I needed and what I wanted. Five months sounds like a long time to figure out who you are but when three years of my life was taken away, five months was a perfect amount of time.
I found the steering wheel and brakes to my life and decided to take a ride and never look back. And I have.
My family, even as far away they may be were the ones to inspire me to move on and take control. The conversations and the tears we shared drew the scars on my heart away and left new meaning to my life. And again, they may be far away, but I've never had them closer to me like I do now.
My self, I worked on and worked on until I knew I was happy. Knowing I could support my self was something no one could take away from me. Loving my self made everything else easier. Only I can make the choice as others have only an influence on my life. I like to run in a pack that is unknown. In a pack that gets the cold shoulder, but one day that pack will grow and others will see it fit. Until then, if your looking for firewood, you can pull the sticks that are stuck up everyone else's assess.
My kids, have so much of me inside them that it becomes scary. I can't imagine them becoming as much of a rebel as I was. But at the same time, if they do I hope they will learn there lessons from it. Kids should never have to see their mommy's heartache, never see the little money they have. They should be blinded by the love and never have to worry. I do everything I can to make that happen. I appreciated my mother more after I felt the pain she felt with what took place.
My friends, most of them were not who I thought they were. Everyone with more than a handful of friends will never know who is truly their friend at the end. I realized that after my life changed. I lost touch with some, lost friendships with others. But the one who remains, I know she knows who she is, is truly my sole sister. She was there from the very beginning and I know will be there till the end. I do have a handful of friends that I truly love, and those few have remained in my life after such events with the same love they had for me before. Friendships should never change, but only the life around them.
My job, has only become greater. It's my life support and I have much gratitude for all it gives me.
The newest piece of my life that I know was made to fit, is the man I love. And you ask how I know...Well that's because when my heart and mind knew I was in love, it wasn't something I was unsure of. I questioned it, wrote about it and was able to describe it in such a way I shocked myself. An unquestionable love is not love at all. That type of love then becomes just another thing that you happen to do.
But this love is more than something, its a support my heart needs.
So cheers to the ones who left us, to the ones who knew us and to the ones who kept us.
I felt like a spec floating in and out of time. Like there was no time for me but to float on by. Well I was tired of floating by and I was tired of taking in second best. So I decided to evaluate every piece of my life and I did just that in five months.
Five months was all I needed to myself to figure out who I was and what the difference was between what I needed and what I wanted. Five months sounds like a long time to figure out who you are but when three years of my life was taken away, five months was a perfect amount of time.
I found the steering wheel and brakes to my life and decided to take a ride and never look back. And I have.
My family, even as far away they may be were the ones to inspire me to move on and take control. The conversations and the tears we shared drew the scars on my heart away and left new meaning to my life. And again, they may be far away, but I've never had them closer to me like I do now.
My self, I worked on and worked on until I knew I was happy. Knowing I could support my self was something no one could take away from me. Loving my self made everything else easier. Only I can make the choice as others have only an influence on my life. I like to run in a pack that is unknown. In a pack that gets the cold shoulder, but one day that pack will grow and others will see it fit. Until then, if your looking for firewood, you can pull the sticks that are stuck up everyone else's assess.
My kids, have so much of me inside them that it becomes scary. I can't imagine them becoming as much of a rebel as I was. But at the same time, if they do I hope they will learn there lessons from it. Kids should never have to see their mommy's heartache, never see the little money they have. They should be blinded by the love and never have to worry. I do everything I can to make that happen. I appreciated my mother more after I felt the pain she felt with what took place.
My friends, most of them were not who I thought they were. Everyone with more than a handful of friends will never know who is truly their friend at the end. I realized that after my life changed. I lost touch with some, lost friendships with others. But the one who remains, I know she knows who she is, is truly my sole sister. She was there from the very beginning and I know will be there till the end. I do have a handful of friends that I truly love, and those few have remained in my life after such events with the same love they had for me before. Friendships should never change, but only the life around them.
My job, has only become greater. It's my life support and I have much gratitude for all it gives me.
The newest piece of my life that I know was made to fit, is the man I love. And you ask how I know...Well that's because when my heart and mind knew I was in love, it wasn't something I was unsure of. I questioned it, wrote about it and was able to describe it in such a way I shocked myself. An unquestionable love is not love at all. That type of love then becomes just another thing that you happen to do.
But this love is more than something, its a support my heart needs.
So cheers to the ones who left us, to the ones who knew us and to the ones who kept us.
Monday, January 3, 2011
OMG...I'm on a diet too!
I would call myself an average. I'm a size 8 but feel like a 10. I'm 5'5 but feels like a lot shorter...
I have been a size double zero and went all the way to a size 14. I've had two children and have had a divorce. None of this makes me want to diet. None. I've been lucky to be able to slim down, but I have more luck exercising than dieting.
I've done the dieting, almost every diet. And you know what, they all sucked! They were gross diets, made me hungrier diets, I can't believe what's in the toilet diets. Diets are just horrible. For some people I have a deep understanding of why they are making that choice. I have friends who have been dieting for years and years. But no results, I mean maybe minimal results. I feel like the diets take the color, the taste and fun out of your life.
The way I see it, there are two different types of weight gain. One is the kind that you can't control because its in your genes, and the other is the kind where you can't get enough of that delicious food. It's true. I'm not trying to be mean or point any fingers, but I know where I've been and I have a right now to tell it like it is.
Why can't you people just enjoy the food you eat instead of scarfing it down, chugging it down with sugary drinks? Don't you want to slow down and smells the roses? Taste your food? See if you can guess all the spices you taste?
Why must we engorge ourselves until we can no longer fit into our jeans? Yeah they make stretch clothes but that's an excuse. Slip on shoes are an excuse. Black is an excuse. Why would you want to try and look slimmer when you should just want to be slimmer? EH!?
I'm amazed at all the foreigners that want to live in this country. We have to be the most unhealthy place to live and by choice! It's horrible.
I have to admit, I was a donut addict. I have stories of what I would do for a donut or two. I would eat like 3-4 every day. I could sit in my car and eat a dozen donuts all by myself. But a nice person told me what was going to happen to me if I continued. I didn't like what he said so I stopped eating those donuts.
You think all those celebrities have gorgeous skin and hair and bodies just because? Think again, they eat well, sleep well and most likely are very active. And you're probably saying to your self, 'I don't have time to do all of the above'. If you have time to take a shit and wipe your ass then you know you have time to exercise.
Forget the resolutions and just do it!
I have been a size double zero and went all the way to a size 14. I've had two children and have had a divorce. None of this makes me want to diet. None. I've been lucky to be able to slim down, but I have more luck exercising than dieting.
I've done the dieting, almost every diet. And you know what, they all sucked! They were gross diets, made me hungrier diets, I can't believe what's in the toilet diets. Diets are just horrible. For some people I have a deep understanding of why they are making that choice. I have friends who have been dieting for years and years. But no results, I mean maybe minimal results. I feel like the diets take the color, the taste and fun out of your life.
The way I see it, there are two different types of weight gain. One is the kind that you can't control because its in your genes, and the other is the kind where you can't get enough of that delicious food. It's true. I'm not trying to be mean or point any fingers, but I know where I've been and I have a right now to tell it like it is.
Why can't you people just enjoy the food you eat instead of scarfing it down, chugging it down with sugary drinks? Don't you want to slow down and smells the roses? Taste your food? See if you can guess all the spices you taste?
Why must we engorge ourselves until we can no longer fit into our jeans? Yeah they make stretch clothes but that's an excuse. Slip on shoes are an excuse. Black is an excuse. Why would you want to try and look slimmer when you should just want to be slimmer? EH!?
I'm amazed at all the foreigners that want to live in this country. We have to be the most unhealthy place to live and by choice! It's horrible.
I have to admit, I was a donut addict. I have stories of what I would do for a donut or two. I would eat like 3-4 every day. I could sit in my car and eat a dozen donuts all by myself. But a nice person told me what was going to happen to me if I continued. I didn't like what he said so I stopped eating those donuts.
You think all those celebrities have gorgeous skin and hair and bodies just because? Think again, they eat well, sleep well and most likely are very active. And you're probably saying to your self, 'I don't have time to do all of the above'. If you have time to take a shit and wipe your ass then you know you have time to exercise.
Forget the resolutions and just do it!
"No food or drinks allowed"
In 2005 almost every store in the mall had a "No food or drinks allowed" sign up in the front of their store. This sucked big time since the first place people visit is the food court when they go to the mall. Then you walk around and start to want to shop and so on until that damn sign stops you. Well, you get a little irritated and then take your business to a store that allows food and drinks in the store.
Well when I visit the mall for whatever reason it may be, I ALWAYS want to stop and get an Orange Julius before I do anything else. Well as I walked around in the mall, I did notice a lot of shops not allowing my drink in. So I would walk in anyway and tell them that since I can't have my drink in this store I will take my business else where. And I did that to every store I shopped at before. Well, those sale reps did not like that, not one bit!
I stopped going to the mall after that. Well, like for a month. BUT! As the months passed by I noticed that fewer shops had taken down their signs of "No food or drinks allowed". Now I'm not saying by any means that I started that movement, but it was people like me that did. The people that were fed up of having to wait till their children were done snacking on that pretzel, or that group of teen girls where done with there ice cream. It was people like that.
I understand the problem with having these privileges that there may be some problems. Like a spill, or a stain on a shirt. But this also applies to the dressing rooms. Women try on clothes and leave smudges of make up, deodorant all over the clothes. Well, I asked myself, why hasn't that privilege been taken away That's because the retailer would lose business. Lose money. Same goes for the no food or drinks movement. Retailers, I am assuming got the hint when they noticed that people would not walk into their stores because of the drinks the consumer was sipping. Well, I'm sure that one store wanted to take the risk of a couple ruined shirts for more business and the rest just hopped on the ban wagon.
Well as you know, the major department stores never carried this rule. As to why they are probably doing very well. Now all this has been an assumption of V's thoughts, and its a pretty damn good one if you ask me!
Retired Mall Rat,
V
Well when I visit the mall for whatever reason it may be, I ALWAYS want to stop and get an Orange Julius before I do anything else. Well as I walked around in the mall, I did notice a lot of shops not allowing my drink in. So I would walk in anyway and tell them that since I can't have my drink in this store I will take my business else where. And I did that to every store I shopped at before. Well, those sale reps did not like that, not one bit!
I stopped going to the mall after that. Well, like for a month. BUT! As the months passed by I noticed that fewer shops had taken down their signs of "No food or drinks allowed". Now I'm not saying by any means that I started that movement, but it was people like me that did. The people that were fed up of having to wait till their children were done snacking on that pretzel, or that group of teen girls where done with there ice cream. It was people like that.
I understand the problem with having these privileges that there may be some problems. Like a spill, or a stain on a shirt. But this also applies to the dressing rooms. Women try on clothes and leave smudges of make up, deodorant all over the clothes. Well, I asked myself, why hasn't that privilege been taken away That's because the retailer would lose business. Lose money. Same goes for the no food or drinks movement. Retailers, I am assuming got the hint when they noticed that people would not walk into their stores because of the drinks the consumer was sipping. Well, I'm sure that one store wanted to take the risk of a couple ruined shirts for more business and the rest just hopped on the ban wagon.
Well as you know, the major department stores never carried this rule. As to why they are probably doing very well. Now all this has been an assumption of V's thoughts, and its a pretty damn good one if you ask me!
Retired Mall Rat,
V
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