Technically Speaking...

For the first time in my life, someone accused me of being fake. I wasn’t sure how to react, since this person is someone who was commenting on the same status update from someone I know (you know, those heated FB conversations). Technically, a person who is on my FB that I have met once but know his life through social media. Well if anyone ever called me that, it was never to my knowledge.

But I just wanted to remind you people how fake I am. I think this person knows me way to well and I have to say they were right on point! Shall we begin? Lets!

I’m fake because I’m not really 28. I’m really 28 years, 11 months and 3 weeks old.

I should be ashamed of myself.

I’m fake because I wasn’t born with ombre hair. I was born with brown hair. I don’t know what to say.

I’m fake because I told someone they deserved to be happy. This one is definitely going way too far. I will watch my words next time, mommy.

I’m fake because I commented on a status to show some support. I think I should be spanked for this, yup.

I’m fake because I have no great come backs. Just silly words like, ‘you have ugly bangs’ and ‘you’re annoying’. LOL super disappointed.

I’m fake because I don’t know how to get violent on FB.

I’m fake because I don’t hang out with every single one of my FB friends. I know…

I’m fake because I have a full time job, 2 kids in school, a fiancé and my parents and brother. I should know better!

I’m fake because I can’t make time to see my own friends plus the ones on FB that have no idea of my private life. But apparently we should be friends and bowl and shit.

I’m fake because I have a best friend. What nerve do I have to have a best friend! Sheesh.

I’m fake because I love God. I love him so much that I sometimes put his name on FB. What world are we living in! I know! I should be banned from Earth for saying God.

Oh, I almost forgot. I am SO FAKE, because I wasn’t there to physically be there for someone when they were having a rough time. I mean, that is how all this fake-ness started.

It definitly goes to show how shallow people are. This was my first Fb fist fight, I definitly lost because I had nothing else to say to ugly bangs, but oh well. I like to chose my batttles. Like fighting for chocolate cupcakes over vanilla.

Thank you for reading everyone! I am so glad you all know how fake I am!

My Story

She wakes up with apple juice stains on her t-shirts and Lego's under the covers.
She doesn't like ketchup with her eggs, but her kids love it.
She never eats dinner because she'd rather see her daughter off to sleep.
Shower time is relaxing time until someone can't reach the juice on the counter.
Her work is everything until she's tired and wants to go home.
She doesn't drink the milk after her bowl of cereal or after dipping cookies in it.
This all may seem weird to people, but to her kids she's mommy.
Some days she watches cartoons even when her kids aren't around.
Some days she falls asleep with her daughters blanket and her sons pillow.
Her kids don't care if there isn't enough time to watch that movie for the fifth time.
Her kids think its funny that she sleeps with one leg out of the covers and with 5 pillows.
She hates it when her arm falls asleep but nothing she can do since one of her angels are sleeping on it.
She curses and kicks air when she's mad, he kids laugh at it.
She talks to herself all the time, no matter who's around.
She waits to fill up on gas when the light comes one.
She's never on time.
She enters a room hoping no one is looking at her.
Bed time is usually around 8pm.....even on the weekends.

Shhh....Mommy is coming!

Sunday mornings in V's house are no ordinary mornings.

I heard giggling and Spongebob Square Pants blaring in the living room. I woke up with writing on my arms that looked like marker that my two year old must have drawn on me. I had 2 different socks on. Some of my hair was in a ponytail. I had Mickey Mouse, Curious George and spider man all in the same bed with me along with other stuffed animals!

I call out for my kids and I get no answer. So I get out of bed and now I hear "Shhh....mommy is coming!", I hear them in the bathroom. They are in the bath tub with every pillow and blanket in the house. They said it was a cloud....

THEN, on the kitchen floor is every toy my children own. They told me it was a dungeon for all the bad toys. That is why they built a cloud so they can fly away. THEN, I open the fridge to get water...there are barbies in my fridge. There are hot wheels in my fridge. THE REMOTES ARE IN THE FRIDGE!

How long have my kids been up?? I HAVE NO IDEA. They were sneaky enough to keep quiet!

SO THEN, I sit on the couch and my two year old screams into tears because she said I sat on Connor (imaginary friend). She was so sad, not even a hug could calm her down. Then my 7 year old says I killed him...thanks son.

3 hours spent cleaning up their mess, 1 hour spent trying to breathe, 1 hour spent making breakfast - which they demanded star shaped everything...ugh. Nap time flew past us, lunch time came but no one was hungry. Mommy had to eat the lunch (oink oink).

Exhaustion called me 5 hours ago and asked for their body back...

PHEW! Now its almost 9pm and now everything can suck it for I didn't get shit done today!