A Friend of Your's

Sit there still until I get there
Clear your worries and smile
It may be that bad but it will get better
When I arrive, I will sit there with you
We can watch the light shine through our eyes
Feel the sun burn away the tears
Feel the breeze with no fear.
So just sit there until I get there
you can empty your thoughts into a funnel
watch them separate like salt and pepper
see them spin on their own
those problems clearly do not need you.
Sit there until I get there
we can share a laugh
see the wrinkles disappear
see our truth's design
feel the pain of passion with a smile.
Sit there still until I get there
I'll bring coffee and you'll be happy
I'll bring life and you'll see clearer
you'll bring your heart and I'll understand
shame will be lifted
gratitude will be born.
So sit there until I get there
I'll hold your hand
I'll comb your hair
I'll become silent until your finished.
So when I get there
accept me as a friend that you
can paint your canvas on.

Remembering You Are Alive

Don't forget that no matter how bad someone can treat you, you're not dead.
Don't forget how strong you become after someone has broken your heart.
Remind yourself that you HAVE friends and family.
Remind yourself that you can make it through anything.
Don't forget when you have a full tummy, some may not. Be grateful.
When you feel you have falling into a stream of tears and a bush of thorns,
tissues and band-aids are always available.
When you feel helpless, know that you are the only one that made that happen.
When you see nothing good, remember its your eyes that you are looking through.
Don't forget when trust has disappeared, search in the lost and found.
Don't forget, all that glitters isn't gold.
And remember your name, because that is the name every first and last
impression will be left with.

Its like that...

I found two one inch long grey hairs this morning. Right on the crown area of my precious head. I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a myth.

I stood there and just stared hoping my eye powers would magically change the color back to black. Epic fail indeed. I've only been twenty six for two months and ten days. Why would grey hair want to ruin my life? I cannot imagine what is going to happen the next two years.

Am I going to be one of those girls that gets multiple grey hairs before thirty? I mean, I don't ever want to turn thirty. Why would anyone want to turn 30. What's really gross is that your vagina is going to be thirty years old. Yuck right!

Back to the grey hairs. I dye my hair every 5-6 months and so I can only assume that this has been coming for sometime now and I've been killing it with the dye. Now I will have to dye my hair until I get a hysterectomy. Because that's when women start to get a pudgy belly, wrinkles that are deeper that your love and ugly hands. No one thinks to take good care of their hands until they start to look like claws and then its too late. More so when older women grow there nails out and think its cute but little do they know they look like they should be in the woods clawing for food or something.

I've noticed in women that are over that twenty five stage that the shoes they start to wear are terrible. Why do you women need to wear shoes that let your toes hang almost over them that you could grip the tip of your shoe with those ugly ass toes? Huh?

I mean when a women puts on open toed shoes she better be able to stand in them and see the top bottom soul of the of her shoe. We already have two hands we do not need another pair! No one likes to see your toes gripping your shoes like their holding on for their lives. Hello!

Slouching is a killer. I saw a women walking to her desk yesterday and she had the cutest outfit on and cute hair. When she sat at her desk she slouched and that flat belly turned to 4 months prego belly. It was gross. Men don't want to see that shit. Even if you aren't single. You are putting your self into a category. The "dude, she's a Mona Lisa kind", you know that category - looks good from afar but get it up close and well its not so pretty anymore.

Why you ask? Because men do the same thing to us as we do to them. We have the "paper bag boy" category and well they have the "dude, she's a Mona Lisa kind" category.

So what does my two grey hairs have to do with all this. Hormones. Can't live with them, can't live without them

♫ It's raining it's pouring...♫♪

When it begins to rain it also pours. But into who's eyes? How you perceive the rain is how you perceive your life. It might be raining, and it may begin to pour, but would your instinct be to reach for an umbrella? Would your thoughts suddenly arise out of the black sand and read, I don't want to get wet? Most likely so...

So when they say 'when it rains, it pours' consider the fact that could have been said by the man who went to the store to grab some groceries and when it began to rain, in his perspective - it began to pour only because he had groceries in his hand and no umbrella? Maybe.

When you come to a place in your life and start to tell yourself that when it rains it pours, think about what you have to protect yourself against the pouring rain.

Damaged Goods

A broken life can never live a normal one. Trying to complicates things. Like trying to wake up everyday and feeling like you're drowning in a life that you shouldn't have. A life that may belong to someone else. Yes, you may have had a good life and everything was fine then something comes in the middle of it and next thing you know you are all alone again.

Sometimes alone is all you may know and no matter how many times you try to put yourself out there, all it does is make you sad. And being sad should not be the emotion that controlls you. And crying shouldn't be the wheel to your life but you find your self being steered by it. It's hard to let go and find peace.

Then you remember why you tried to find piece and then you find out why its out of the question.

There's no reason, no plan for you to try harder. At least that is how it seems. You can't be with someone that has deep scars. If they're closed, there bound to open all over again. Those scars are always left to leave you talking about them. They never go away.

Sometimes you wish you could sleep all day and life took place in your dreams but you can't escape reality. It follows you even when you're sleeping. It's there waiting for you once you wake up, get dressed and go to work. There's no escaping.

You can sit an stare at a wall for hours and not realize its been more than twenty minutes. Because what happens is that wall starts to turn into a window with the people you know, the place you work, the things you like. And they start taking action and soon or later things start to make sense then they don't and that's when you start to questions things.

Then once the questions appear, everything else starts to fade out. Now you have hundreds of your problems staring at you. Sooner or later that's when the tears play there part and you just want to sleep.

But the great thing about that wall, is that the problems are there but they can't talk and they can't move. The first long blinks then their gone and its just a white wall again until another episode.

Only Time Can Tell

I love it when everything seems to be going right and you are on cloud 9. That is when time flies by. Seems like the days are shorter even in the summer when they technically are supposed to be longer. Feels like the time doesn't notice any one else but you when you are enjoying life.

I hate it when everything is going wrong and the time seems to slow down. Like it knows that you are in trouble or pain and its getting its pleasure from you. I know this is all in mu head, but when shit is going wrong all you know how to do is watch the time and count the days.

The past few weeks my mind has taken a turn and its caused body aches and pain in my brain. My mood has changed ten different times this weekend, I don't want to eat but I can sure sleep all day.

I hope this phase of what whatever-ness will go away soon so I can go back to living a normal life.

That Boy...

A boy found her in a world with billions of people in it, and just saw her. He saw her in a crowded place, and all he knew was the look on her face. All he knew is that she was there and so was he. Of all the places she could be, that's where she choose.

Of all the doubt she has ever carried, she chose to see that boy again. To see a boy that had found her in a world with billions of people. She followed his words and hung by them every time that boy made her smile.

That boy, that one boy in all this world found a piece of love inside his heart. He gave that love to this one girl. And after all this time, after all these years, that piece of love fit right into that small piece in her heart.

It helped her grow and when it did, it shown that boy all that he could do. And so he decided to give her more until her heart learned to dance.

That's when she knew that this one boy that found her in this world with billions of people in it, was meant for something.

So she decided that this one boy was worth all her love and all her life.

Nothing More To Say

The sun begins to fade behind words
he once spoke,
behind times I wanted to leave.
The breeze becomes violent and
my dress starts to dance.
I close my eyes and let myself
stand in this meadow of his
negative mind and
burning thoughts.
Then tears find their way to
the straps of my dress
and then at that time
I begin to really cry.
Crying like it was the first time
I've ever cried.
Feeling intense waves inside my body
and seeing the skies
become dark and darker as if they
were my mood ring.
Gravity pulls down the frown that
begins to form
on my face.
The wind starts to strip all
sanity I once treasured
and the strength I
once had.
Minutes felt like hours
and hours felt like weeks.
And as I open my eyes,
blurry vision reminds me of what
once was.
So I fall to my knees,
I release my hair and
uncover my face.
I see the make-up stains on my hands and
I suddenly feel lost.
Lost for hope,
lost for thoughts,
lost for imagination.
My knees become weak and I start
to fall over,
and when I do,
I plan to lay there with no white flag,
with no please in my words,
with no regret in my heart.
His words may have won in this world
but I've become shallow
and have acquired an emotion you've never
seen.
So let me cry in this dead meadow
that grows on your
selfish mind.
I'll find myself soon.

Zzzzzzzz.....

My legs are restless and my back is aching,
I lay on this old couch and suddenly it becomes beyond comforting.
I close my eyes and now I'm falling into a deep sleep,
Winding down into place I have never been.
As I am falling and falling I get butterflies,
I feel relaxed.
The walls are glowing from the electricity,
The air smells like cinnamon,
I feel like I'm in a scene from Alice in Wonderland,
Except, retro active.
And as I come to a stop I land in a bed of coconut,
Surprisingly comfortable.
I'm laying there seeping into a daze,
Into a trance I can't wake out of.
My fingers become full of tingles,
And my hair become soft as silk.
Suddenly I feel a rocking that is back and forth,
And as I look down, I am now laying at the bed of a crescent moon.
It rocks me to sleep and there I dream of another place,
A place that smells like cinnamon,
And the walls glow from electricity.

Its Not What It Seems To Be Anymore...

There are so many expectations and reasons and whatever else it may be. It's overwhelming me and pushing me over the edge where I no longer feel like its worth taking someones hand.

I no longer feel like an excuse can become a reason then turn into something it should of never have.

With every emotion going through my body I have broken myself into a piece of something that is numb and has no taste buds. No reaction to things that matter and no reaction to things that don't.

I see a hole in the wall that is surrounded by piece and love. I just can't seem to climb out of it. I slept in it and its taking over everything that I once believed in.

I'm numb, full, tired and hopeless.

Change arrived and it's not leaving.

Of it all...

Of all the boys who made me cry, there was one who made me cry the most.

Of every love I have ever had, one made it hard to let go.

Of all the regrets I have held, one showed me how to not look back.

Of the few times my heart has been broken, one more time made it stronger.

Of all the nights I slept alone, one helped me over come my fear.

Of all the kisses I've ever had, one made me want the best.

Of all the anger I had built up, one issue turned into joy.

Of all the dates I've been taking on, it helped one became the most important of all.

Of all the time that was taken away, one good time made up for it all.

Of all the words I have carefully chose, a few words changed my whole life.

Of all the letters I have ever written, only a hand full were written from my heart.

Of all questions I have ever asked, I answered the most important by accident.

Of every person I flashed a smile too, to only one I truly meant it to.

Of everything I have seeked and found, the one I never seeked found me.

Of all the love I failed to give, turned out to be saved for something special.

Of all the things I've ever said, this time I mean it more.

Of all the truth I've ever told, led to this moment of truth.

Of all the times I ever fell, I fell this time into love.

♫♪ "If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad" ♫♪

How does one person learn not to expect everything when everything is to be expected? How do you learn not to misunderstand what you are trying to say versus what you want to say?

I can't seem to get it right. Maybe that is why it ends up in disaster. Maybe that is why I can't lower my expectations and can't forgive myself for living above the average thought.

So if it makes me happy then why the hell am I so sad? Maybe satisfaction is now something that is just okay. It doesn't feel like that overwhelming feeling, it's just "something". Satisfaction has left and I need to find something else that once gave me that overwhelming feeling. I don't know where to start looking or if the search is worth that something...

I won't chase it. Time can bring it to me. For that, I can grow patience.

My Imagination Times 9

If his thick curly hair where a bed,
that is where I would like to sleep.
If his eyes became the ocean,
that is where I would want to swim.
If his lips became a resting place,
I would want to nap there.
If the beating of his heart was the theme song to my life,
I would play it on repeat.
If his hands became a safety net,
I would like to hold his hands when I fall.
If his hugs became a warm blanket,
then I always want to be cold.
If his kisses turned into shooting stars,
I would want to be a telescope.
If his smile became a night light,
I want to be afraid of the dark every night.
If his laugh were a sign of good things to come,
I would become patient for the future.
If the scent he leaves on my pillow is a stain,
I never want to wash it out.
If his life is a good luck charm,
I want to be the bracelet it goes on.
If his love is the only cure to my illness,
I want to be the first to discover it.

Moving Day...

Another year, another lease! NOT!

This year my life has already changed. It has had it's ups and it's downs. You're thinking, yeah so does every year. But this year I saw things from a different view like Dewitt Jones better explains it, "But vision controls our perception, and our perception becomes our reality".

Seeing things in this new light gave it much more meaning to me. A better reason to see plan B as that second hand to hold and not as something to fall back on because plan A failed.

"by celebrating the best -- that allows us to fall in love with it, that connects us with our passion, that emancipates the energy." Dewitt Jones.

That quote says it all for me. Now that I am in love, I'm in love in a whole new light. I love him so much I fall to my knees from his words and that his eyes are so deep it carries me back up. Just like that. I love him enough to make sure he has a full tummy before bed. He makes me feel that love when he tells me I'm beautiful in the morning. He brings out a laugh only he controls. I've falling in love with him because he allowed me to lay in his heart and feel free.

Our love has grown old enough to allow us to put each others lives in our hands and move in together. Meaning, everything will be under one roof. That makes me happy. And what makes me happy, makes him happy. It's our own circle of life.

And for those who do not know, he has taken a role in not only my life but in my children's lives. It's a big deal. Fireworks go off every time he shows them attention and when they remember after he has left. It melts my heart. And I know I've said no man could ever melt my heart. But this man has; loving two kids who aren't his own and loving me for just myself is only a crumb of the cake. He is the kind of man you read about and only wish you had one.

He is my blessing and enhances that every time I fall asleep next to him.

So if the years to come have ups and downs, I'm ready for them with him standing next to me.

Sunday. The day before Monday.

I have a lot to say and intended to speak with a friend but he was busy and so blogging it is! So the blogging nation will need to deal with my few minutes of ranting.

My parents moved to Nevada this past February. I miss them so much it hurts. My kids miss them and I feel so home sick. There are just some things my parents can give me that no one else can. Home comfort. This weekend was by far one of the toughest weekends with my kids. They were all over the place non stop. Not that they were misbehaving, but just so full of energy. Being a single mother I'm sure others can relate.

Friday night we played games until we were all drained. Woke up Saturday morning to cartoons and the kids jumping on the bed telling me they are dying of hunger. So I make them a large breakfast that they barely ate. Ugh that made me so mad! Then as I'm cleaning it all up they tell me they are hungry. I made them eat an apple.

So then we spend almost five hours at the pool with some of my friends and between, the kids, beer and sun I was just out of whatever it is that keeps me alive. We went to bed pretty early.

Sunday, not always a fun day! I had somewhat of a hangover, I didn't eat until like noon and I couldn't even finish my coffee because my kids had to play with play dough which they managed to get everywhere. Then I cooked dinner at like 4pm so we could fly kites....The kitchen was a mess. I hate doing dishes. I hate doing dishes when I'm tired. I hate doing dishes when I'm tired and mad.

AND, I HAD to take my kids to the grocery store today because I needed to! They were sooo bad. I could not believe these were my kids!!

If my parents were here this weekend would have been better. But they weren't and it gets me so damn sad. I remember when my mom would make such a big deal about getting sleep, so she would take the kids for a few hours so I could nap.

I have amazing parents and I love them very much. I wish they would follow this blog but they are old fashioned and can barely text.

My eyes are sore, my head is pounding, my body is tired, my legs are unsettled, my back is throbbing....No energy could be found if energy was the only thing that could save my life.

Goodnight.

Couldn't Sleep

Never mind the answer to the question asked,
forget the moment when it all went boom.
Anger is the fault for a sleepless night
to which spilled over to a horrible morning.
Let it be, those words exchanged,
for nothing needs to be explained.
Let the stress disappear
and let me fall back to sleep.
The only light that is always on,
is now gone, far away.
No need for comfort or even joy
forget the need to need that time.
Forget the feeling I felt inside
forget that thought that leaped around.
Don't slide me to the right,
for left is where I'd rather lay.
My eyes are shut but my mind
is open,
thoughts linger late so it seems,
midnight's here and has brushed away sleep.
Current status is; no, why and how.
The eyes are drooping and have lost the fight,
bedtime is calling, but this time without the light.

A New Aspect In The Name Of Love

So there I was, standing in the body wash isle jamming out to my IPod. As I am trying to figure out which body wash I want, Cheap Trick's 'I want you to want me', came on and suddenly a thought popped into my head; maybe I should get a body wash that my boyfriend and myself could both use. One that doesn't smell like a women or man. Normally I am reaching for the most floral scent without a doubt, except for this time.

I'm standing there, with a blank face; my mouth is probably open a little and people are trying to reach around me just grabbing A body wash. They didn't stand there for a second to smell it, or try and decide if one was better than the other. So I'm taking deep breathes because I didn't know which one I should grab. I don't even know if he would notice or think "why doesn't she have her normal girly one?"....But oh well.

When I reached for one, I grabbed the Cucumber and Green Tea scent. I couldn't believe I was compromising my body wash for a man that only showers at my place here and there.....but I did. Of course body wash is only a micro piece of importance, but it felt important and was worth writing about.

Then again, if subliminal messages were implemented into that song then I am fucked....I love that song!

It sits under my IF thought

IT FOUND AN ORIFICE AND SQUEEZED ITS WAY INTO MY BODY
IT SLIT ITS OWN WRISTS TO UNLEASH ITS BLACK POISON INTO THE FLOW OF MY BLOOD
IT MADE A VISIT INTO MY EYES AND PLAYED A SHOW THAT RECEIVED NO APPLAUSE
IT FLEW INTO THE PIT OF MY STOMACH AND DANCED AROUND MY PEACEFUL BUTTERFLIES UNTIL THEY BECAME ANGERED
IT CLIMBED ITS WAY UP MY THROAT INTO MY EARS TO MAKE ME BELIEVE I HEARD IT ALL
IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH IT WALKED ALONG THE DIPS ON MY BRAIN AND FILLED EACH ONE THAT HAD AN IF WITH UGLY THOUGHTS; WITH UGLY NIGHTMARES; WITH HORRIBLE SENSES THAT MADE ME FEEL ILL
IT FOUND ITSELF SWINGING AROUND MY HEART AND INTO A CAVE
IT MADE A HOME WITH IF AND HELPS IT PUSH ME AWAY FROM MYSELF
ITS CREATING A SCAR THAT EVENTUALLY WILL HEAL
BUT SCARS STICK AROUND TO REMIND YOU OF THE DAMAGE IT HAS CAUSED.

Think before you Speak!

In the last two weeks or three weeks I have run into a situation that has forced me to question shit. I mean, if I have to go over it in my mind more than a few times I worry. I worry all the time about all kinds of shit. But it really fucking bothers me when I'm reading something, listening to someone and they write or say something that triggers that WTF feeling inside...It's no good for me. I may not tell you right away. I may just let that shit soak and evaporate and never bring it up. But damn that if I will do it with the shit that has gone down these last three weeks!

I made it final that I, myself make my mind up for myself. I will think before I speak, because some of you are in the moment, and caught up in excitement or sadness and say the craziest shit that you don't even realize what it could do to the other person! You just keep fucking rambling on and on about your shit, with no fucking care or thought. Amazes me!

Damn, writing more and more about this just really sets me off! And you know what else gets me going? A FRONT! A fucking front that gets put on because your fucking sad or you're just having a good old fucking time! For me, it only takes me three times to question it before I explode on your ass. And when I say that, I mean tell you the fuck off. Tell you how low and disrespectful you are. Words have power. Don't be a fucking idiot because of where you currently are, who you are around and what you think you shouldn't say.

I don't accept apologies very well, never have and never will. You did it, you did it. Vise versa. I don't expect anyone to accept my apology right off the back.

There are only two things in life that matter, and those are my two kids. Everything else is an exception. I've made that choice to have you in my life, you fuck it up or allow me to question it then you're out. That's it. Second chances are good to give, only and if you deserve them!

I can go on and on about the shit that is built up, but then you would be reading for hours.

I'm done here!

A Love Letter in March

Fall and Winter have passed as we catch ourselves waking up to Spring. We bloom into a mold that no one could ever break, a mold so tough only our weepy hearts could melt it to tears. We've grown into this thing that has the greatest vibe, the greatest thoughts that are only great when we are together. A melody that was written from two different lives that syncs slowly, sleeping into one another every time we meet.

Being with you is never a dull moment. Never an empty glass of nothing. There is always something there, even when it was placed by fate. By which that has carried us to where we are now. I seem to lose myself when we spend time together. I become sleepy for you. When your arms are around me and my eyes are tightly closed; everything else feels so small. That's how big you make me feel.

This love can be everlasting even when time doesn't allow. Time has paused because it has come to know we anxiously wait to see one another. It knows our bodies ache when we are apart. Slowly we reach the end of that pause and time begins to fly, it goes until that Sunday morning. The last day for us to rest on, a day for us to praise each other and remind ourselves what we never thought would happen. Each other. I always take our last few moments to allow your eyes to steal me away. To let your eyes settle in my soul and warm me up until the cold drift has left my body.

You've become more than just everything to me, your a part of me that I need in order to see. In order to speak or hear. You're the best part of me. Without you, I'm an empty glass.

One Year Ago Today

One day, a married women came across a flyer for an event. She told all her friends about it and RSVP'd to it on the website that the flyer advertised. Originally her husband planned to attend this event, but plans changed.

The event finally arrived, she and her friends headed to the initial spot. The man who was in charge for this event was there. She got a few words in with him and then off they both went in different directions, but little did they know - the same direction. At that time she was married, he had a girlfriend. They eventually became friends online, but never went further than that log in page.

Spring and Summer passed and heartache came on both ends. Her husband asked for a divorce and he had parted ways from his significant other. Stumbling across information about each other every time they spoke, lead up to a first date. That then lead to a few more dates before he kissed her. In her eyes, everything was great.

After a romantic trip and some warm cuddling she really knew she loved him, but felt it was to soon to tell him. She broke it off. She didn't understand why and how she could feel this way. Feel more than she ever has, even after being so hurt from her divorce. It was heartbreaking to have to tell him this, but thought it was best. The next morning, she woke up sad and full of regret. She wanted him back faster than she could say it. He didn't give second chances and that was that. A few days later, Thanksgiving came and even though it was originally planned that they would spend it together, plans changed. He was in one place and she was in another.

Fortunately, she couldn't stop thinking about him and they came together that night. Lots of words were spoken, short memories were embraced. He told her he loved her and she couldn't of felt more relieved to hear that only because the mess she caused was all because of just that - she had fallen in love with him too.

Thanksgiving passed and so did Christmas. New Years came and they tipped toed around Valentines day. Here they are on the day they met one year ago. A man who's plans were to leave this state and travel the world, a women who thought her future never saw another man in it. Their plans changed.

Shhh....Mommy is coming!

Sunday mornings in V's house are no ordinary mornings.

I heard giggling and Spongebob Square Pants blaring in the living room. I woke up with writing on my arms that looked like marker that my two year old must have drawn on me. I had 2 different socks on. Some of my hair was in a ponytail. I had Mickey Mouse, Curious George and spider man all in the same bed with me along with other stuffed animals!

I call out for my kids and I get no answer. So I get out of bed and now I hear "Shhh....mommy is coming!", I hear them in the bathroom. They are in the bath tub with every pillow and blanket in the house. They said it was a cloud....

THEN, on the kitchen floor is every toy my children own. They told me it was a dungeon for all the bad toys. That is why they built a cloud so they can fly away. THEN, I open the fridge to get water...there are barbies in my fridge. There are hot wheels in my fridge. THE REMOTES ARE IN THE FRIDGE!

How long have my kids been up?? I HAVE NO IDEA. They were sneaky enough to keep quiet!

SO THEN, I sit on the couch and my two year old screams into tears because she said I sat on Connor (imaginary friend). She was so sad, not even a hug could calm her down. Then my 7 year old says I killed him...thanks son.

3 hours spent cleaning up their mess, 1 hour spent trying to breathe, 1 hour spent making breakfast - which they demanded star shaped everything...ugh. Nap time flew past us, lunch time came but no one was hungry. Mommy had to eat the lunch (oink oink).

Exhaustion called me 5 hours ago and asked for their body back...

PHEW! Now its almost 9pm and now everything can suck it for I didn't get shit done today!

A New Ripple In The Water

WITHOUT A MOMENTS NOTICE
MY HEART HAS PAUSED
MINUTES TURNED INTO HOURS
CONTINUING TO STARE
AT A BLANK WALL WITH
NO PICTURES, NO COLOR,
NO STORY.
A WALL AS BLANK AS
MY MIND.
MY TEARS STREAM DOWN
MY FACE
FORMING NEW RIPPLE'S
IN MY LIFE
DRIPPING FROM MY CHIN
ONTO MY SHIRT
SLOWLY SEEPING
INTO THE CRACKS
OF MY HEART.
I'M LEFT MOTIONLESS
HERE IN FRONT OF THIS
BLANK WALL.
I HAVE NO THOUGHTS
MY WORDS HAVE BECOME FROZEN
AND STILL MY HEART
REMAINS PAUSED.

♥♥♥

Moments before I'm about to see you,
a little pocket of joy fills inside of me.
It stands on my heart on its tippy toes
while it peeps out through my eyes just to see you.
Sometimes when it can't hear you well,
it moves to the lobes of my ears,
and hangs on by every word you say.
When you hold me and it wants to feel you,
it moves to my finger tips so it to can touch you.
Every time you begin to kiss me it flutters and
that pocket of joy rolls down into my tummy
startling all the little butterflies that lie there sleeping,
forcing them to fly around through out my entire body.
This happens every time I see you.

Heartache For All The Right Reasons

Do his cheeks hurt after smiling so big? Does he get a tingly sensation in the pit of his tummy like me? When he kisses me do you think his heart explodes with joy like mine? When he sleeps at night, does he find himself staring into the dark but can see me through it? When he sees lovers kissing, does it make him miss me? Will cheesecake ever be the same to him?

Could he say loving anyone else would never compare to what we have? Will November just now be a month in the Fall? Does he truly know when I say I mean it? Does the number eighteen stick to his brain like it does mine? Have all the butterflies broken out of jail and found my body as their hide out? Does he feel the same way about coffee the way I do?

Does he know the stars have changed their pattern? Does he know I close my eyes last right before we kiss? Does he realize he's swept me off my sleeping cloud more than a dozen times? Can he feel my trembling legs and can he see the clumsy in my eyes? How does he know when I can't say it? Does he know he's another word that yet hasn't been discovered to describe love?

If he knows, then I'm speechless...

Best New Years EVER...2009!

I brought in the new year with newly found friends, a smile on my face and a loving boyfriend. Not to exclude my children, they were not old enough to be out that late! 2010 has Lot's to offer for a girl like me!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

First Date: Dinner vs Lunch

My theory was right all along!

A man who takes a women to dinner is most likely to try and sleep with her that night!

A man who takes a women to lunch it interested in getting the facts before the deed!

I know, I'm smart =)