One Year Ago Today

One day, a married women came across a flyer for an event. She told all her friends about it and RSVP'd to it on the website that the flyer advertised. Originally her husband planned to attend this event, but plans changed.

The event finally arrived, she and her friends headed to the initial spot. The man who was in charge for this event was there. She got a few words in with him and then off they both went in different directions, but little did they know - the same direction. At that time she was married, he had a girlfriend. They eventually became friends online, but never went further than that log in page.

Spring and Summer passed and heartache came on both ends. Her husband asked for a divorce and he had parted ways from his significant other. Stumbling across information about each other every time they spoke, lead up to a first date. That then lead to a few more dates before he kissed her. In her eyes, everything was great.

After a romantic trip and some warm cuddling she really knew she loved him, but felt it was to soon to tell him. She broke it off. She didn't understand why and how she could feel this way. Feel more than she ever has, even after being so hurt from her divorce. It was heartbreaking to have to tell him this, but thought it was best. The next morning, she woke up sad and full of regret. She wanted him back faster than she could say it. He didn't give second chances and that was that. A few days later, Thanksgiving came and even though it was originally planned that they would spend it together, plans changed. He was in one place and she was in another.

Fortunately, she couldn't stop thinking about him and they came together that night. Lots of words were spoken, short memories were embraced. He told her he loved her and she couldn't of felt more relieved to hear that only because the mess she caused was all because of just that - she had fallen in love with him too.

Thanksgiving passed and so did Christmas. New Years came and they tipped toed around Valentines day. Here they are on the day they met one year ago. A man who's plans were to leave this state and travel the world, a women who thought her future never saw another man in it. Their plans changed.

Shhh....Mommy is coming!

Sunday mornings in V's house are no ordinary mornings.

I heard giggling and Spongebob Square Pants blaring in the living room. I woke up with writing on my arms that looked like marker that my two year old must have drawn on me. I had 2 different socks on. Some of my hair was in a ponytail. I had Mickey Mouse, Curious George and spider man all in the same bed with me along with other stuffed animals!

I call out for my kids and I get no answer. So I get out of bed and now I hear "Shhh....mommy is coming!", I hear them in the bathroom. They are in the bath tub with every pillow and blanket in the house. They said it was a cloud....

THEN, on the kitchen floor is every toy my children own. They told me it was a dungeon for all the bad toys. That is why they built a cloud so they can fly away. THEN, I open the fridge to get water...there are barbies in my fridge. There are hot wheels in my fridge. THE REMOTES ARE IN THE FRIDGE!

How long have my kids been up?? I HAVE NO IDEA. They were sneaky enough to keep quiet!

SO THEN, I sit on the couch and my two year old screams into tears because she said I sat on Connor (imaginary friend). She was so sad, not even a hug could calm her down. Then my 7 year old says I killed him...thanks son.

3 hours spent cleaning up their mess, 1 hour spent trying to breathe, 1 hour spent making breakfast - which they demanded star shaped everything...ugh. Nap time flew past us, lunch time came but no one was hungry. Mommy had to eat the lunch (oink oink).

Exhaustion called me 5 hours ago and asked for their body back...

PHEW! Now its almost 9pm and now everything can suck it for I didn't get shit done today!

A New Ripple In The Water

WITHOUT A MOMENTS NOTICE
MY HEART HAS PAUSED
MINUTES TURNED INTO HOURS
CONTINUING TO STARE
AT A BLANK WALL WITH
NO PICTURES, NO COLOR,
NO STORY.
A WALL AS BLANK AS
MY MIND.
MY TEARS STREAM DOWN
MY FACE
FORMING NEW RIPPLE'S
IN MY LIFE
DRIPPING FROM MY CHIN
ONTO MY SHIRT
SLOWLY SEEPING
INTO THE CRACKS
OF MY HEART.
I'M LEFT MOTIONLESS
HERE IN FRONT OF THIS
BLANK WALL.
I HAVE NO THOUGHTS
MY WORDS HAVE BECOME FROZEN
AND STILL MY HEART
REMAINS PAUSED.

♥♥♥

Moments before I'm about to see you,
a little pocket of joy fills inside of me.
It stands on my heart on its tippy toes
while it peeps out through my eyes just to see you.
Sometimes when it can't hear you well,
it moves to the lobes of my ears,
and hangs on by every word you say.
When you hold me and it wants to feel you,
it moves to my finger tips so it to can touch you.
Every time you begin to kiss me it flutters and
that pocket of joy rolls down into my tummy
startling all the little butterflies that lie there sleeping,
forcing them to fly around through out my entire body.
This happens every time I see you.

Heartache For All The Right Reasons

Do his cheeks hurt after smiling so big? Does he get a tingly sensation in the pit of his tummy like me? When he kisses me do you think his heart explodes with joy like mine? When he sleeps at night, does he find himself staring into the dark but can see me through it? When he sees lovers kissing, does it make him miss me? Will cheesecake ever be the same to him?

Could he say loving anyone else would never compare to what we have? Will November just now be a month in the Fall? Does he truly know when I say I mean it? Does the number eighteen stick to his brain like it does mine? Have all the butterflies broken out of jail and found my body as their hide out? Does he feel the same way about coffee the way I do?

Does he know the stars have changed their pattern? Does he know I close my eyes last right before we kiss? Does he realize he's swept me off my sleeping cloud more than a dozen times? Can he feel my trembling legs and can he see the clumsy in my eyes? How does he know when I can't say it? Does he know he's another word that yet hasn't been discovered to describe love?

If he knows, then I'm speechless...

Best New Years EVER...2009!

I brought in the new year with newly found friends, a smile on my face and a loving boyfriend. Not to exclude my children, they were not old enough to be out that late! 2010 has Lot's to offer for a girl like me!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

First Date: Dinner vs Lunch

My theory was right all along!

A man who takes a women to dinner is most likely to try and sleep with her that night!

A man who takes a women to lunch it interested in getting the facts before the deed!

I know, I'm smart =)